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Thursday, January 30, 2003


I am having a difficult week at work. I mean, this is a rough week. When I am having these kinds of weeks there is really only one thing that can make me feel better and that thing is listening to a string of "cheezy" 70's love ballads.

On my ride home I "jammed" to the likes of Melissa Manchester who demanded that I not cry out loud, Bette Midler who reminded me that from a distance most things look a hell of a lot better, Roger Daltry who confided that he was nothing without my love, Dolly Parton who fretted about that party just two doors down, Toni Tennille who charmed me with a story of muskrat romance, Rod Stewart who declared that I was in his heart, Barry Manilow ranted on about trying to get the feeling again and then I found my way back to Ms. Manchester who has most definitely seen through the eyes of love.

I turned off my MP3 player, heaved myself out of the poorly constructed seat and stepped out of the dirty train to start my walk home. Now, I am relaxed and ready to enjoy an evening of bad reality tv shows with Karl.

Tomorrow is another day. ...it will suck, but it will be Friday and I've always got Melissa Manchester at the ready if I need her!

"Baby cried the day the circus came to town cause she didn't want parades just passing by her. So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown while she danced without a net up on the wire. I know a lot about her cause you see, Baby ----- is an awful lot like me..."

Yes, I will survive!

Sunday, January 26, 2003

Lazy Afternoon

The only thing I've done today is sit around in my pj's watching DVD's and a marathon of Dame Edna tv shows on the Trio Channel.

Wish I had something of interest to post. Oh well, if wishes were horses we would all take a ride ---- excepting me, of course. I am terrified of horses. They creep me out. Recently, the Discovery Channel aired a showing of 2 horses mating. This only escalated my fear. ...so, if wishes were horses I would just hide.

OK, back to the tv. Am planning to watch my "Shampoo" DVD. A Warren Beatty classic which I was forbidden to watch as a child.

Oh, I finally watched my "Madame Bovary" DVD. I enjoyed it a great deal and learned a bit about arsenic poisoning too! If this French film is correct, one tosses and turns a great deal, pukes bile and then dies. Not a pretty death. Oh, those silly French suicides!

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Bad Mood and a Missing Bladder...

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and then I rolled over and fell to the floor. Or, to put it another way, I've been in a bad mood since I woke up. I've no idea why.

Last night I got to hang out with Jen. We hadn't actually "talked" in a several months. We had a quick dinner, saw an excellent film and then had plenty more time to chat as I drove her home by way of a detour from hell that only the planners of the Boston Big Dig Project could develop. I had a blast --- and, much to my shock, I didn't even get lost as I drove home from Jen's. It was by accident. I forgot Jen's detailed directions as soon as I drove away from her house. I shrugged, sang along with Stevie Nicks and soon found myself going toward my town of Salem without incident or delay.

For those not in the know, I have no sense of direction. This is not an exaggeration. I've gotten lost in apartments. Am sure one can imagine the challenge I face as I navigate through the streets of New England. I like an adventure so it is really no big deal to me. However, in addition to being navigationally-challenged --- I have no bladder. Being lost in a car without a bladder to support me can be a problem. Luckily, this wasn't a problem pour moi last night.

Note: While I wasn't exaggerating about my lack of navigational skills, I was hightening the issue by writing that I have no bladder. My doctor assures me that I do have one. I had long suspected it had been stolen by vandals while I napped, but test results have shown me to be incorrect in my suspicion. I guess I have an attraction to linoleum. Whatever. It just seems I am always in need of a wiz. Just thought I would share the warmth that is my lack of bladder control. I figure I'll be needing Depends by the time I hit 45 or so.

Anyway --- I had a very nice time last night.

I went to bed when I got home because I had an appintment this morning. I then went in to the office to catch up on work. Karl came into Boston round about 2pm. We had lunch. It wasn't a good lunch and it was served to us by disinterested wait staff. Then we had to speed to Revere to catch a screening of that new movie directed by George Clooney. This is the movie based on the autobiography of Chuck Barris who claims to have been a CIA assassin while producing such tv "gems" as "The Gong Show" I didn't like this movie at all. Then we had to go to the grocery store. I hate going to the grocery store.

Let's hope my bad mood passes. I will end my blogging for the night as I now need to go to the restroom, but fear I may have trouble finding it. (just kidding!)

Oh, Jen and I saw "The Pianist" last night. Obviously, this is a disturbing film -- but well worth seeing.

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

Dental Hell

I think it is fairly normal to hate going to the dentist, but I think I go more than most. And, next month, "we" start the way-fun grafting procedure on my gum line. Fun and, yes, more fun! I am not even thinking about the expense. Anyway, "we" will finish the grafting at some point in May. Basically, I will be in dental hell from Feb thru May. Ugh.

Oh, and my dentist and oral surgeon both have the annoying habit of referring to "we" when they discuss me.

Looks like my last couple of postings have been a bit down-beat. Sorry. Will be more positive and life-afirming soon!

Good news -- Karl returned to work today and seems to be feeling much better!

(something went wrong with the comment box ---- there is really only one comment, but the program decided to repeat the same comment over and over and over again --- 2000 plus times!)

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

American Idol

I was just watching this program on the Fox Network. I found it to be soul-draining. Sad. That is really all I have to say about it.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

Hedwig As Porno Star...

So, John Cameron Mitchell, who co-created, directed and played the title character in "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" is now creating a new project which will be produced by the folks who brought us "The Myth of Fingerprints" He wants to make a porn film with plot and great performances beyond just the carnal. He hopes to secure some respected actors, but seems to understand that he might need to go with an unknown cast. I just read one of several interviews where he says he wants to capture the "pansexual" Manhattan in which he resides. He got the idea at a "casual orgy" he attended. ? He and the producers have put up a website instructing actors how they can audition. They have also secured a starting budget of one million.

I don't think that porn and fine art merge well. Remember Sir John Gielgud, Malcom McDowell and Helen Mirren in "Caligula"? I mean, if one wants to watch a porno ---- does one really care about plot development? I also think that graphic sex in films usually takes the viewer out of the story. The viewer starts thinking more about the fact that he/she is viewing the nude body of the actor vs. the nude body of the character the actor is playing. ---- and the film is about the character --- not the actor.

I don't know. I suppose it will be interesting to see what he creates in the way of a film, but I am dissapointed guess to see such a talented artist go the way of Bruce LaBruce. Pushing boundaries for the impact of a film is one thing, but it seems to be a whole other matter to just drop all boundaries. I do not think this is a "brave" or "noble" direction for filmmaking ---- seems to me it is a shorcut to shock value and an aparent lack of creative ideas. If a film has a strong plot, good production values and a talented cast, does it really need insertion sex to make it interesting? I hope not.

One of the articles about this project can be found at nerve.com or http://www.nerve.com/screeningroom/film/mitchell/

Blogger Beyond the Template...

While I can now add links via my template in Blogger, I can't figure out how to incorporate links into my text the way all other Bloggers do! I just can't seem to break the code. This is similar to my problem with responding/posting to the comments left by others to my postings. I just don't know. I will figure it out one of these days.

Anway, I have found so many fantatic Blogs which I check on a fairly daily basis. I've put most of them as links on the far left. Found a Blog by Wiley Wiggins which is most cool. I found another cool Blogger who calls his space "AnyoneBagel" --- I believe I found his site thru the Twisted Dear Daniel Blog which is also a fave of mine. However, my fave remains Cup and Saucer! Oh, and I also put in a link to the Something Weird Video Company website --- SW manages to put out some of the best bad flicks on DVD! Most fun!

Malia, Yellow Daffodils, a Passing Day and the Return of Anna Nicole...

I picked up a CD in Montreal by this singer, Malia. It is called "Yellow Daffodils" and I LOVE it! My favorite track is "Purple Shoes" --- awesome! Have been playing it quite a bit. Looks like the CD was imported from France, but Malia sings in English. I've yet to read up on her. She has a site at www.malia-online.com. Anyway, it is a sort of fused sound of trip-hop with R&B. Her voice reminds me a bit of Billie Holiday's without the desperation or woe.

I wonder if, as listeners, we project more to what we hear than what is actually there. Do Billie Holiday, Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain sound so tragic because when I hear them I bring their collective histories with me or does the sadness that was in their lives travel through their voices?

Just watched "Waking Life" again on DVD. Karl hated it. We have so much in common and like so many of the same things, but we sometimes run across things that one of us loves and the other totally hates. That movie is one of the things I love and Karl hates.

Tonight I plan on watching "Madam Bovary" ---- the French adaptation from the early 90's featuring Isabelle Huppert. I purchased it because I like looking at Huppert. She is so cool. I think I avoided this film when it came out because I never got into the book. Not sure if I will like the movie, but it is always neat to watch her and I usually like the director's work.

Anna Nicole's reality show returns in March! Yeah!

Sick II...

Well, Karl seems to be in more pain than ever today. I feel so bad and am unable to do anything to really help him. I got to sneak out a bit yesterday --- actually, I could have gotten out more than I did, but it felt mean to leave him all alone. If he is still in this much pain tomorrow he will need to call his doctor.

I've cleaned the condo again. I've surfed the net and am thinking about going out for a drive, but am worried that this might lead to my spending more money. That really would not be good. I've spent enough!

Looks like the weather is about to get really cold. Like below zero through Wednesday. I like cold weather and I love winter. However, once the temperature falls below 10 it gets to be a bit much. I dread having to stand in the bitter cold for the next several mornings waiting for the commuter rail. ...and you just know it will be delayed by 30 minutes each of the three days. UGH!

Saturday, January 18, 2003


I was expecting Karl to be much better today, but he seems to be a bit worse than yesterday. With the exception of about 3 hours, he has slept the entire day. He is fine --- I think this is more to do with the pain meds than anything.

However, I am bored out of my mind and want to escape out to the sunshine and ride about in the car. It is a very cold day, but the sun is out in full forcre! I wonder if I can sneak out for a bit. Hmmmmm....

Friday, January 17, 2003

...And Still, He Expands

Am happy to report that Karl is fast on the mend!

Am most unhappy to report that all I've done is lie about watching DVD's and eating loads of food. In between exciting things like napping I have taken care of Karl --- which mainly means feeding him, ensuring he takes his medicine and changing his ice packs. However, he has been on his own since about 3pm when he took a bath. I've mostly been eating since then. I fear that I shall be purchasing my first pair of fat jeans soon. I am so annoyed with myself, but obviously not annoyed enough to stop stuffing my face. Ugh.

I guess I should note that am not fat, but fear I am going to get there if I don't get off my ass, work out and stop eating all of this crap. Have been listening to Jimi Hendrex and Brigitte Fontaine tonight. Jimi was thin and Ms. Fontaine is even thinner. Still, I do not hate them because they are thinner than me. Hey! Wait a minute! Hendrix is long dead. So, I guess I can't assume he would have retained his late 60's slimness, but Brigitte is alive, well and ever-thin.

"Fat" is such an ugly word. "Over weight" is just so depressing to say. "Big-boned" is comical device. "Expanded" is my pref. word of choice.

I was thinking today that it might be sad for me and Karl when we're old. No children to care about us when we get old. I am worried we could end up old, alone, bitter and totally self-involved. That would suck, but I figure it would be totally self-indulgent to pursue starting one of those "gay partners with child things" just to have someone else other than each other to care about us when we're old. That would sort of be like having a marriage ceremony just to get gifts from our friends.

Yes. So I think the best thing might be to get some cats.

Dental Woes II

Well, Karl's wisdom teeth have been removed. I felt so bad for him --- all pale and swollen. My hope is that I will be able to get some warm soup in him today --- doctor said no hot food til Sunday. They ended-up having a hard time removing two of the teeth and extra drilling was required ---- and per Jen's comment post above, I guess it was a good thing that they knocked him out. It was also kind of cool to see Karl stoned. Tho, it should be noted he swears he was not out of it. I assume his happy smile and "la la like rocking" resulted from his happiness at having just had oral surgery! Ha!

It is also my hope that I can sneak out for a few today and have the oil changed in our car. Am also not too good at this whole nesting thing where you stay at home all day. Drives me nuts!

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Welcome to my Nightmare

Last night I had an odd dream. Everything in the dream was totally normal except that I had Dolly Parton's voice whenever I spoke. It was most worrying.

Dental Woes

Karl is having all of his wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. I will be taking care of him for the next couple of days. Poor thing --- I am not much of a nurse. I do wish he hadn't opted to be knocked out for the procedure. He just can't deal with the idea of being able to hear what they are doing. I understand, but I would prefer he deal and just go with the novicaine. Oh well.

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Nicole's fake nose...

Oh, one more thought --- I saw "The Hours" Friday night and it was great. Well worth seeing! Nicole Kidman plays Virginia Woolf in this film and wears a very realistic-looking fake nose to conjure up the visual. The press has been going on and on about how clever it was to make Nicole Kidman look ugly --- which really bothers me as Virginia Woolf was in no way ugly! Anyway, I have to say that Kidman pulled off a believable Virginia. As I was watching the film I got to thinking that this was the first time Nicole Kidman looked interesting to me. I think she should start wearing fake noses more often!

Nice Weather for Ducks, but What Would Miss Kittin Do?

Am sipping lots and lots of water in hopes of avoiding chocolate cookies. It is time to stop my gradual expansion before I reach that point of no return when pecs become tits and waists turn to tires. Getting older just sucks and then you know that no matter how hard you work at it --- you're just going to die anyway. Part of me wants to buy some fat pants and have some major food fun. However, since one never knows when that exciting modeling career in Europe might come-a-calling ---- I am forced to focus on my body and health.

Pete Townsend of the Who has admitted to paying to enter a kiddie porn site. He is claiming that he was only going to the site to see the horrors of what is actually out there on the internet. Sounds like a lame excuse to me, but who knows. I do know that this brings a whole new meaning to "Fiddle About" from "Tommy" On top of that the drummer from the Bee Gees died today --- or maybe it was yesterday. It all strikes me as so sad. I was listening to "Nice Weather for Ducks" by Lemon Jelly as I read about all of this. I really enjoy Lemon Jelly and "Nice Weather for Ducks" is one of their best tracks. Now it is tainted for me. Whenever I hear the scratchy sound of the man singing, "All the ducks are swimming in the water..." I will think of a dead Bee Gee and wonder if Pete Townsend hurts children. ugh.

Am listening to the Future Bible Heroes now to cleanse my mind before heading into Boston for a fun afternoon.

You know, I have to learn a bit more about my template use so that I can provide links to things when I reference them in my blog. All of my fave bloggers do this! I figure if I put my mind to it I will be able to get more proficient with blogging and get myself in better shape! Gulp --- a really big drink of water! Who needs chocolate cookies? Not me!

...well, maybe just one cookie won't hurt. oy.

Saturday, January 11, 2003


I like to drive around in my car. Not so much because I like to drive, but because I love to sing. When I write "sing" I mean "sing" in the strongest sense of the word. We're talking beltin' out the tunes at the top of my lungs while speeding about the streets! It should also be noted that while I love to sing, I am unable to actually carry a tune. I used to sing in the shower, but as my poor pitch and tone offends the hubby --- I am pretty-much relegated to singing in my car.

Anyway, I have noticed that I am better at singing along with certain recording artists than others. For example I do OK with The Ramones or Hole, but not so well with Blondie or Kate Bush. However, I do sing along particularly well with Don "Miami Vice" Johnson! I discovered this while singing along with the new Barbra Streisand compilation CD, "Duets" Now the duet Barbra recorded with Don was during their short romance in the late 80's and it is definitely not a career highlight. I had almost erased the 'cheezy' song from my mind until this CD came out in November. But when the track started playing, the song came back to me as if it were 1988 all over again.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Don and I seem to be able to sing in the same flat manner! Of course, I wasn't nearly as surprised as the car full of old ladies watching me from the safety of their SUV. They were watching me as if I was some sort of science project gone wrong and given a car. I guess I must get a little animated when I'm singing with Don Johnson. Oh well. I smiled and hit the high note with Don while Bab's voice soared around us. I hit the gas and left the old ladies behind. Sadly my luck did not hold out for long. Soon Babs was crooning with the likes of Josh Grobhan and Frank Sinatra. It didn't matter. I kept on singing anyway --- and loving every minute of it!

Wednesday, January 08, 2003


Came down with a migraine on my way to work this morning. Sucked it up and just dealt with it all day by taking huge doses of Tylenol. Got through the day, but am now searching for a spike to drive through my head in hopes of relieving this pain! ahhhhhh!

And, tonight ABC is sending us the first transmission of Celebrity Mole! Ah, yes --- quality television! I can't wait! I do believe that Anna Nicole Smith returns to the E! network this coming Sunday. Also, Phyllis Diller is the guest celebrity on "Star-Date" this weekend! Am all a-glow with excitement! I just don't know if I can handle it!

And for those of us in the Boston area, the annual fetish fair returns to the gay south end on Sunday! This is always an interesting arena to check out. Color me there!

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Trashing the Critics!

Being a real movie nut, I have enjoyed this way-cool web site regarding film critics. I've attempted to add it as a link on the left side of my Blog page. If I entered it correctly it should read as "Kill". I am just not swift enough to enter the link here, but the web address is www.die-critics-die.8m.com. Check it out!

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

Is the name of The Flaming Lips recent CD --- and it totally rules. If you're not familiar, check it out --- you might like it. For some reason this CD makes me think of The Polyphonic Spree. They are also great but wear creepy cult gowns and never fight pink robots.

True Confessions...

Thus far I have avoided entering anything too private about myself as I do not know who may be looking at what I write. However, I feel the need to get something off my chest. I feel the need to come clean. I feel the need to share something very personal. So, with caution to the wind --- I shall bare my most recent act of depravity --- I purchased the new Christina Aguilera CD. ...and I like it. I like it a lot. I think this purchase must be blamed on the fact that, deep within my being, lies the soul of a tormented 8th grade girl. And based upon the sounds coming from my CD player, this 8th grade girl has become a total slut. There you have it. ...Me. Stripped. (sigh)

Sunday, January 05, 2003

My significant other, Karl, told me that I sneeze like a girl. I've never really thought much about the way I sneeze. I do not think I will start now.

However, if you should hear a girl sneeze ---- keep in mind, it may not be a girl. It might be me.

I wonder if I cough more like a boy or a girl. Hmmmm...

Had a migraine headache all of yesterday. This totally killed my Saturday. I spent the first half of the day in bed and spent the night on the sofa. Thank goodness for my medication which allowed me to remain in a drugged state for the complete duration.

This morning I feel a bit water-logged. Sort of like waking with a massive hang-over, but feeling much better than I did yesterday! The snow plus addition of sunshine is bit bright for my fragile head, but am about to put on my shades and greet Sunday head-on. I am armed with Tylenol and ready to move about.

Wish me luck!

Friday, January 03, 2003

Back from Montreal! Stayed up past our bedtime every night, ate too much and spent far too much money --- we had a blast! Return to work and real life on Monday, but that's cool as vacations would not mean much if they never ended! I guess the snow has followed us from Canada. Looks like we may be getting more than a few inches of snow tonight.

Some quick thoughts on recent film releases:

Saw the new film adaptation of "Nicholas Nickleby" today. I really enjoyed it. However, it is fair to say that a bit was lost in translating the Dickens novel into a 2.5 hour movie. Still, it worked quite well and won me over.

I really loved "Talk to Her" --- an almost perfect movie, in my opinion! I suspect I will be in the minority regarding this one.

"Catch Me If You Can" was cute, but seemed too simplistic in terms of establishing what drove the main character to take such bold and scary chances.

"Gangs of New York" was beautifully filmed, but tried to do too much. I found it to be an uncomfortable mix of romanticism, realism, history and Cameron Diaz in soft focus. I just didn't care for it.

"About Schmidt" has some great acting work, but I found the pacing to be very slow. However, it was fun to watch J. Nicholson play a character his own age in "normal" circumstances. Kathy Bates managed to steal the whole film with her supporting role.

"The Two Towers" was awesome! See it!!! Maybe it is just me, but I find several of the actors playing the hobits to be so sexy. Uh,oh --- hobit perversion!

I do believe that all of these films were well over two hours in length. If movies must be this long, I think theatres need to bring back the intermission. I am concerned that bladders across the country are on the verge of bursting in our cinemas! --- or maybe it is just mine in danger. At any rate, I think we need to go back to the 90 minute format movie or give us a proper intermission! Just a thought.