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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

So, It Has Come To This...

...a blog posting about Starbucks. Yes, I have nothing of more importance to say than to let you know that Starbucks pissed me off today --- unitl I had an epithany on the elevator on my way up to the 8th floor to see my therapist.

You see, it took longer than usual for me to run out of the office. I was going to be late --- and this particular mental technician is a real stickler for staying on schedule. ...Perfect for my current bout of OCD. Anyway, I digress. I was in a hurry, but realized I needed some water so I would be able to keep my mouth and throat moist for better speaking. My only options were a health club for women only ---and, I don't think the fact that I am gay would have mattered to them. So I had to run into Starbucks and grab a plastic bottle of water. The caffeine-energized Starbucks counter person rang up my ordinary small plastic bottle of water. It came to $2.45. I had no choice. I had to pay. I was pissed off.

I got on the elevator fuming and then it hit me. Starbucks has earned that $2.45. For there is nothing better on a really cold New England day than a nice cup of steamed milk with a shot of almond! In addition, it was about 3 or 4 summers ago that they turned me on to the gentle, but rhythmic song stylings of bebel gilberto (do any of you know why she only uses lower case letters?) --- Anyway, not too long ago I was in Brookline and in dire need of coffee so I rushed into Starbucks, got a large cup of coffee. Then I noticed some beautiful music, but it was not bebel gilberto. So, I asked the really hyper counter person if that was Macy Gray --- this question stopped her in her tracks and she said, "Oh, no! May the jazz and blues gods forgive you! That is Billie Holiday" ---- with one simple gesture she pointed me toward a compilation of The Lady's best hits. Sure, it cost out the ass --- but it was worth it.

And, you know --- so was the water. Thank you, Starbucks!

I hope I have something of more importance to share with you tomorrow. You never know!

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The Unappreciated Art of Dancing Tampons!

Doug made a comment to my post from yesterday that really got me to thinking. He suggested that I get away from the dangers of one, Ms. Bernadette Peters, and try Betty Buckley. Yes, that would be the Betty Buckley of "8 Is Enough" fame! As it turns out, I've adored her singing voice since she slipped into that sad old cat costume in the very early 80's at the Winter Garden Theatre. Even tho I was in Texas --- I was up with the Broadway scene.

However, I must say that I first heard the big CATS number, "Memory" by Babs and I still prefer her cover of it to Betty's. However, the original cast recording does carry a certain "oomph" when Betty hits that high note!

Anyway, I love Betty Buckley and have several of her CD's. My favorite one is the one that has "Meadowlark" on it. Anyway, what I found interesting is that Tony mentioned Betty ---- and, just a couple of days ago David and Chad were sitting with us in our living room talking about the fact that we all wished we had seen the Broadway version of "Carrie" --- choreography by Debbie Allen. Betty was in it! ...tho, I think it only played the Great White Way (why is B'Way called that???? Someone tell me! Tony? Charlie? Doug?) for 3 performances before they pulled the plug. It stands as the biggest Broadway musical flop of all time. It even beat out "Wind in the Willows" for that title! ...And, really, that says a lot.

Anyway, in truth I am not sure that Karl or David were particularly upset that they couldn't see it --- but Chad and I would have loved the chance. In fact, Chad is the first person I have ever known to tell me that he still has his ticket to see it. For some sad and lame reason he missed one of the very few performances because he had to study or something. Bad, Chad, Bad! Anyway, I figure he could make a small mint if he put that unused ticket on E-Bay. ...or better yet, if he gave it to me and I could frame it along with the faux poster my bestest pal made for me the day after the show closed.

The music that I've heard from Carrie is quite good. One can find it on a couple of Ms. Buckley's CD's. Wouldn't it be cool if they re-created it and put out a recording. I remember reading a particularly cruel review in New York Magazine. That critic thought it really odd that they chose to have Betty play the mother in barefeet. However, as Chad and I both agreed --- the very concept of turning the whole first period in the gym shower into a musical number complete with dancing tampons may have been a bit much.

Still, wouldn't you just love to see a musical version of Brian DePalma's masterpiece? Plus, wouldn't it be kind of cool to see a chorus of girls in towels dancing about with tampons to the beat of the samba while poor Carrie cries? Ah, yes, one can but dream.

If anyone out there actually used their ticket and saw the show -- please post all you know in the comments section below!!!

Monday, June 28, 2004

Why Does Bernadette Peters Want to Hurt Me?

You may remember that I sliced my thumb with a very sharp steak knife while trying to get that annoying strip of sticker the US record labels put on CD jewel boxes. ...It was a Bernadette Peters CD. Tonight I put the very same CD into the player. The volume was too high and Ms. Peter's voice was frightening our little puppy --- so I got up to turn it down. On my way to the stereo I slipped in puppy piss and hurt my toe! I could blame Dusty. I could blame myself for rushing too quickly. However, it is just easier to blame Bernadette. If this keeps up I will have to stop listening to her.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

I Love Michael Moore!

We saw "Fahrenheit 9/11" this afternoon. Granted, it was like having I was a member of the choir being preached to for a full 2 hours, but there was some really startling revelations regarding some unsavory ties to the Bush family.

I left the film feeling worried and frustrated. I mean, I am worried that we might not get this dude out of office. I am also frustrated because I am unable to imagine how we are going to get out of the mess our country has created in Iraq.

...Ya say ya want a revolution. It could happen. God help us all --- none of us seem to know what we are doing --- or what we are going to do!

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Dusty Comes Home!

I am all excited today! In just a few minutes we leave to save Dusty from Doggie College, which I am fairly certain Dusty would consider Doggie Hell! I have missed her so much. I think Karl has not missed her. Sadly, I do believe Dusty loves Karl more than me. ...Now, that only goes to show you how the intelligence factor between dogs and cats is so variable! Cats just love me!

I did see the movie all alone last night. No one even tried to come on to me. Actually, the cinema was filled with old people. Who knew? The movie was fantastic! Not what I was expecting from the director of "The Piano Teacher" and "Funny Games" --- but it was a great film! It even ended on a note of hope! I think that might be a new concept for Michael Haneke. My favorite movie star, Isabelle Huppert, seemed to be in the film more as a favor for the director. Her part was rather secondary compared to the actors who played her children. However, the film was so good I did not mind.

Our new pals, David and Chad, are coming over tonight for dinner and a DVD. We felt bad because we were originally going to see them, but with the return of Dusty --- we couldn't leave her alone this weekend. So, they have been really cool about it and are coming into Boston to hang with us!

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Me, A Bucket-o-Popcorn and Isabelle

Well, Friday is fast upon me and it looks like it is going to be another lonely night at the movies pour moi.

Michael Haneke's new film, The Hour of the Wolf, opens in Cambridge tomorrow at The Brattle Cinema. I loved his last film to hit US shores, The Piano Teacher! Now, The Piano Teacher was about a woman's decent into madness via a sick/twisted S&M relationship with a pupil or was it a sly representation about the horrific rise of fascism in Europe? As Mike Myers would say -- "Discuss"

Anyway, I am all excited --- and, as I have mentioned on several occasions, I really like to look at Isabelle Huppert. I find her face and movements really interesting. I think she is probably my favorite movie star. I could just watch her in anything and watch her for hours on end. Now, please do not misunderstand! Barbra is in a universe all to herself so don't think I rate Ms. Huppert above Babs. That is just a whole other ballgame.

Anyway, no one wants to go with me. Everyone is worried it will be twisted as French film often is --- that is why I enjoy it. I also find that people look more "real" in French films. ...They just tend to do unreal things.

Anyway, if anyone out there is going to be in Cambridge and wants to see the movie with me, let me know. I think it starts at 7:20. I dread going alone because it always seems I get hit on at The Brattle when I am alone. ...And, while somewhat flattering -- these men at The Brattle who hit on me tend to be on the creepy side. ...Maybe it is the movies I am seeing.

Oh well. I will have my popcorn and Isabelle will be on the screen. I guess it is OK that I will be all alone. ...Don't cry for me, Blog City! ...for I am ordinary, unimportant and undeserving of such attention --- unless we all are. Yes, I think we all are!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

My 3 Favorite Songs and A Sandwich Called 'Joan'

In case anyone cares, I shall list my 3 favorite songs of all time. The order is intentional and does indicate that I prefer the first song to the second and third. Here they are:

1. Evergreen (Love Theme for A Star Is Born) by God, uh, I mean Barbra
2. Sara by Fleetwood Mac
3. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

Now I must add that I do have a 4th favorite song, but I don't feel like listing it. However, it is a beautiful piece of popera.

Ah, Evergreen. So sublime and pretty. If only love could be like an easy chair! This song is all about romance and sex on big fluffy pillows for me. I experienced my first erection watching Kris Kristofferson doing Babs in that bathtub surrounded by candles in beer cans. Ah, that is romantic and hot! However, the erection surprised me. This resulted in my asking my Mom about sex. I think this was my second or third time I asked her about it. She decided to explain the act of sexual intercourse using my poster of Captain and Tennille as the guiding example. "First the Captain gets an erection like you did, and then he inserts his erect penis into Tennille's vagina..."

I had to take down my poster that night. It still kind of disturbs me. I mean watching Kris without his shirt doing Babs is one thing, but having to imagine the Captain poking Tennille is really more than a 9 year old can handle.

Then of course is the witchy 1979 Stevie Nicks twirling about a stage singing of that poet of her heart! ...And there was a heartbeat and it never really died. Oh, I just love that song! I saw her perform it in 1981 during the Tusk tour in Houston. ...Don't tell my mother. She doesn't know. I actually only remember the part of the show where Stevie got on her knees and banged her tambourine. The rest is all a sort of drug-induced fog. Blame it on my wild heart. ...or this freaky girl I hung out with for years.

And, how can one resist the song stylings of Jim Steinman (sp?) --- I mean Total Eclipse of the Heart is like this all time great white trash rock opera piece! One has to love it and no one could sing it better than Ms. Bonnie Tyler. Of course, one does have to worry about all of those scary choir boys floating about in the video. I think they were meant to be demons representing Bonnie's pent up sexual attraction young boys. ...or maybe that was the video director's issue? Hmmmmm...

Oh, my administrative assistant's mother-in-law made this really interesting sandwich for her the other day. It was like a big leaf wrapped up in string. When Jane (not her real name!) cut the strings, I discovered that the leaf was protecting a dish of sweet rice, peanuts and pork! It looked so good! However, she is pregnant I felt it would be cruel to steal her lunch. Anyway, she was kind enough to have her mother-in-law make one for me! I asked her what this delicious sandwich was called and she said "Joan". I asked her how to spell it, but she wasn't sure. Anyway, I love eating "Joan" --- the sandwich. ...And, 'Jane' advised me that it wasn't really a sandwich. However, she could not explain what it was --- nor was she really sure how it was prepared. Like me, she doesn't cook. However she explained that most people of her generation do not understand the cooking ways of their elders. I thought this was sad. I mean, to think that 'Jane' will not know how to teach or share the dish of "Joan" with her children -- or, more importantly me, is quite sad. She told me to get a grip. I guess "Joan" is available at most Dim-Sum's --- tho, I don't think I have ever noticed it. ?

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Take Heart and an added Twist to Trust Fund Boys!

So, I am so loving the new novel, TRUST FUND BOYS by the divine Rob Byrnes! If you have not yet picked up a copy, I highly recommend it as a great and fun summer read! I do not want to provide any spoilers, but there is a connection between Rob's first novel, THE NIGHT WE MET, and this new one! Only problem is, he really needs to get something new published soon because I am almost finished with this one and have nothing of fiction to read! If anyone has any suggestions for a good gay read, please let me know!

Oh, and as I was wandering without aim through my favorite store, Newbury Comix, I noticed that one of my all time favorite 70's bands, Heart, has returned with a new CD! It is called "Jupitier's Darling" and it is actually pretty damned good! However, you would have to be a fan of their 1970's Led Zeppelin-light rock to enjoy this new offering. This is not at all connected to their 1980's corporate cheeeez rock. I know many of you just love 80's music, but I lost all respect for most popular music makers after the summer of 1983. In fact, rock music didn't particularly interest me again until I found Bongwater, NIN and Nirvana in the very late 80's and early 90's.

You know, I wrote to Kramer, the male founding member of Bongwater and owner of the NYC record label --- Shimmy Disc. In that letter sent in the summer of 1991, I offered myself to him as his personal slave. I wrote that I could either be his loyal assistant Boi Friday or his 24/7 sex doll --- he would just have to provide me with a nice place to sleep and food to eat. Interestingly enough he did take the time to personally write back. He thanked me for the offer but explained that his administrative and sexual needs were being met --- however, he did send me a free blue sweatshirt that I wore till it feel apart. I have lost his letter. Ann Magnuson got pissed at him and Bongwater broke up, Ween left his label to join the Warner Corporation and Shimmy Disc went out of business. He should have taken me up on my offer! I wish I still had the letter. I do have a picture of the shirt being worn by my best friend, Beth. ...but the shirt is long gone.

The rock world needs more Heart and Bongwater. ...And, the world at large would benefit from a new Cleo Laine CD! I am so pleased to discover that she is alive and well!

We are picking Dusty up from doggie college this coming Saturday! I am all excited! I miss her so!!!

Friday, June 18, 2004

Yes, but is it art?

Well, it certainly carries a high camp factor, but as I listened to it I came to the realization that having Bette Davis sing/recite with a full orchestra and choir has a certain uptown performance art feel to it. God bless the two gay guys who produced this album back in 1976! However, I have to say that Jimmy James does Bette Davis better than Bette Davis ever did. It is just a fact.

At any rate, this is art. A few years ago I would have shunned it away for the poor cover art alone, but this music is amazing. I still find it hard to believe that I have been missing such great music for so many years. Is Cleo Laine still alive? Seems like I remember reading that she had died. Not sure.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Bernadette Peters Sliced My Thumb!!!

Well, I guess I am unable to technically blame her for the deep slice that slashed across my thumb --- but it never would have happened if I could have more easily removed the shrink wrap and annoying little sticker thing on the top of the CD. I used a really sharp knife. Karl leaves in fear that I will harm myself due to the way I use knives. Today, his fears were fully realized. I have my thumb wrapped in gauze and multiple bandaids. It really hurts, but the bleeding stopped. Damn that Bernadette!

Last night into early this morning I watched this classic John Schlesinger film. It was fantastic and strange! I think we forget that Karen Black could ever act, but then you see her in something like this or "Nashville" and you remember that she could. Anyway, this film will require a few repeated viewings to catch everything. I highly recommend it. It was just released to DVD. The late and true Disco Queen, Paul Jabara was featured in the film as fantastic drag queen! ...just a few years later he would go on to pen so many hits for the likes of Donna Summer and Babs! You know, I think he was also one of the creators of the Red Ribbon for AIDS. If anyone out there reads this and can confirm --- I would appreciate it! I might be wrong --- just seems like he did that shortly before he died.

I really need to update my movie blog. I will get to it later this weekend, perhaps! Now, I am off to nurse my thumb!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Back from PTown and Dusty is off to School!!!

We have returned a bit early from PTown. We had a really great time! It was far too cold to even think of nude sunbathing! In fact, if I hadn't accidentally slipped on a boulder and fallen into the icy Atlantic waters, I would not have gone any farther than my feet and that big rock! Boy, it was cold! Major shrinkage, if ya know what I mean!!!

We normally are not in PTown till next month and August --- the streets and shops seemed almost empty. However, my pals from Texas felt it was crowded enough. We saw John Waters riding about on his bike twice. This, however, is the first time Mr. Waters failed to make a face at Karl. Normally, he at least sticks out his tongue to make fun of him for looking at wide-eyed wonder at his favorite filmmaker. Still, am sure he will get another chance next month.

As Karl and I have been trying to work through some issues, this just does not seem to be the year for us to take advantage of the right to marry. However, some months ago we did agree to "upgrade" our commitment rings. So, we found the perfect rings at a jeweler in PTown. We now have matching titanium commitment rings and are wearing them on the "official" fingers. Feels funny to wear a ring on the left hand. Karl commented that he does not really like the way it feels. Sigh.

This afternoon we left Dusty at Doggie College to be trained in the areas of obedience, use of pee-pee/pooh pads and the fine art of not nipping at visitor’s feet. The minute one of the trainers interacted with her he commented that it was clear that Dusty suffers from the Alpha Dog issue. He explained to me that Dusty is the boss and they are going to have to break her of this concept. Our little dog was horrified to be taken off to her temporary home until her training is complete. Most likely this will not be for another 2 weeks. I think it was more traumatic for me than her --- and I think that Karl is relieved to be rid of her for a few weeks! I miss her already and am worried how she must feel. Oi! Let us hope that I do not crack and run to Holbrook, Massachusetts to pick her up before her training ends! Ugh!

I could go back to work tomorrow, but as I had already put in to have tomorrow off --- I think I will just spend this evening watching DVD's and chilling out tomorrow. I do not think that this makes me a bad person. ...just a lazy one!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Off to PTown!!!

My pal from Texas who is now a high-power corporate partner in a most respected Houston law firm and her hubby have rented a beautiful house on one of the beaches in Provincetown! ...and they have invited us to join them! Should be fun!

It will be really nice to see her and it will be really nice to get away from everything for a few days!

Anyway, I won't be able to blog for a few days! Should be back online for next Wednesday afternoon! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Soft, but firm kisses,

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

A Sweaty Issue

OK --- Now, I grew up in one of the more humid and hotter areas of Texas. I lived there for 24 years. When I moved to Boston in 1991 I was always cold. For two years I complained that it was just too damned cold. Then, I acclimated. By year 4 I was dreaming of an air-conditioned home. Now, I could live in a fridge and be comfortable.

Granted, Boston's summers are short, but I hate them! Unless I am on the beach, preferably nude --- I just hate the heat. Today we hit 92 degrees I believe. I was so miserable. I had several appointments and took the day off from work so I was able to wear shorts and a t-shirt, but I was flop-sweating continuously all day long!

Now my issue is not really with the heat --- it is with all of these people who do not seem to sweat. How can they not be sweating?!?!?! As I walked all about the city I saw folks lying or sitting about all smiles ---- rejoicing in this heat. Very few were sweating. I was a mess! It is impossible for me to look fabulous in this kind of heat! I am unable to even fall back on that old "I am not sweating! I am glistening!" --- because, this amount of sweat goes far beyond a point of shiny beauty! I do not enjoy being the only person in New England who is sweating. Not much fun!

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Abandonment Issues, Stunted Puppies and Thoughts of the Retarded

It has been so cool having the chance to really get to know my brother, but he is about to pull out of this village and is headed to that city which never sleeps! Yes, Roy is moving to Brooklyn. I am sad, but I now have a real excuse to get my fat ass to Manhattan from time to time! And, if he is to really further his career in the arts -- he needs to be in NYC or LA. I am glad he has decided to go with the east coast. It is just too mellow and beautiful for me in California. I am not very mellow. And, yes, I have tried to be mellow. It just doesn't work for me. I am hyper and thrive on city noise. Hey, why the hell aren't I moving to NYC!?!?!? However, I would have to live in Manhattan. Brooklyn is fine, but I would need to be in the actual city. Anyway, Roy plans to be there for August. Seems like he only just arrived in Boston.

Dusty, our retarded puppy, is still teething on any and all things with an edge or shape. Luckily, she is quite cute. Like Julie Kavner and that dude who played John Boy on The Waltons --- in that really sappy 1970's TV movie about the two retarded adults who meet, fall in love and marry ---- while their families fret and the social worker encourages them along. Julie and John Boy were cute as retarded. I wasn't very pleased with Linda Purl and Shaun Cassidy when when they played retarded in another 1970's TV movie. They were not cute. They were just annoying. Juliette Lewis, who probably is retarded, and that cute actor who played Phoebe’s brother on "Friends", both played retarded well. And they were both cute. Plus they both had killer bodies one seldom notices on most of the retarded. My uncle was retarded. He was very sweet and cute. I loved him.

Speaking of Juliette Lewis, she is now pursuing a career as a rock-n-roll girrrl. She is still cute, but the retarded shtick probably won't mix well with the whole Iggy Pop as female thing. I should add that I do truly love Juliette Lewis. I really do. She is the Sandy Dennis of our generation. Every generation needs a Sandy Dennis. You know, some actress who is able to keep it real. ...and slightly retarded. I have seen "Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean" and "Natural Born Killers" 20 times each. Sandy and Juliette rock!

I bet Rossie Perez and Anthony Gallo could play cute retarded --- with an edge. Whoopie would need to play their caring social worker. Lanie Kazzan could play Rosie's waitress mother and Paul Dooley could play Anthony's stockbroker father. We need a sappy TV movie about a couple of retarded citizens falling in love for the naughts! I think I smell a hit for CBS!!! You know, I think Rossie O'Donnell is about to play retarded. That might be a bit uncomfortable.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Dead, Dead, Dead --- And, Yes, He Is Still Quite Dead

Even if I had liked our former president, I would still be annoyed by the media's never-ending coverage of dead Ronny. I mean I feel like one of those cute little seals and all of the networks are clubbing me to death with the message that Ronald Reagan is dead.

If I were a poor little seal and the media did club me to death --- I suspect Nancy would have me skinned and would wear me as coat.

Am I evil? I think not.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

A Weekend of Difficult Mothers, Sad Sondhiem Interpretations, Puppy Walks and Samurai Angst...

Thus far it has been a very nice weekend. Friday night I took in an interesting British film which is playing in Boston for a limited run of one week. The film is by the director of NOTTING HILL --- never a good sign, if you ask me. However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that his new film, The Mother, is a powerful and profound study on humanity.

Watching it alone was really a benefit. It was quite interesting as the theatre was rather full. There were two female senior citizens sitting in front of me and two college age women sitting behind me. From the very start it was clear that this movie was making the Cambridge audience most uncomfortable, but also glued to the screen. Throughout the film the audience giggled uncomfortably, gasped in embarrassed tones and I suspected sickened many in the audience during more than a few scenes. I found it really interesting that the two old women reacted in similar ways to the two young women, but for very different reasons. Just a quick warning --- if you plan to see this movie, I've a feeling I will be giving some spoilers to express what really fascinated me about the film.

The film follows the story of widow in her mid sixties who runs from her suburban home to the homes of her two adult children in London. Her children are terminally fucked-up and seem to be rather distant with their mother and her grandchildren are indifferent to both her and their parents. Slowly, we discover that the mother may not have been a very good mother to her children. It is quite clear that she loves them, but she reveals that she was too troubled as a young adult to be a parent. She fell into the role because it what society at that time dictated she do.

Now, close to 40 years later she looks at her son and daughter and feels the pain of guilt for having not been there for her children --- but even more importantly, she comes to the realization that she wasn't even there for herself. She has been walking in a sort of sleeping state from the day she married her deceased husband. As she tries desperately to pull herself together she also tries to mend some of the damage she feels she might have done to her 40 year old daughter who has fallen in love with the wrong guy. In her time of crisis, she falls into a passionate affair with the very man her daughter loves -- the man the mother knows is trouble. However, she discovers a sexuality she never knew she had and truly blossoms in what she feels is a highly-charged sexual/love relationship with a screwed up man in his late 30's -- who we soon discover went to college with her 36 year old son. The sex scenes are graphic and the exceptional actress, Anne Reid, looks every bit like a a 60 something female. She is overweight, but attractive. The younger lover is a hunk, but a drug addict who is unable to hold a job. He doesn't love her or her daughter.

During the sex scenes the old women in front of me giggled and whispered things to each other like, "Oh dear! Her breasts are as bad as mine!" "She is just too hot-to-trot" "Oh, please do not tell me she is going to put that in her mouth!" ...The two old women giggled uncomfortably like two school girls. The young women behind me giggled at the same times but whispered things like, "Oh my God! Look at her tits!" "Jesus! I feel like I am looking at my mother nude!" "A woman that old would have no interest in a man like that! This would disgust my mom!" I just watched the film enjoying their collective reactions and thinking that it was so cool to see an honest representation of sexuality.

Of course, the mother in the film ultimately betrays both her daughter and her son --- and, worse, herself. ...again. In the end, her young lover debases her when he realizes she has no money to offer him, the daughter's hatred and anger are no longer suppressed and her son is revolted by her behavior and the fact that she so hurt his big sister and the mother is left alone in her empty suburban home looking at the house slippers of her husband. Early in the film, she disagrees with one of her son's wishes and he advises her that she should not be difficult. She looks him squarely in the eye and states that she has every right to be difficult. ...But at what price? Although all of the above sounds quite tragic and sad, the film actually ends on an empowering note as we see the mother dry her tears, pack some clothes, a drawing pad, an empty journal, a pack of pens and a passport. She leaves her suburban home behind and the film ends as we see her walking toward the train station headed for a new beginning.

I loved the movie. The rest of the theatre seemed to be upset. I think that we Americans are terrified of sex, horrified that parents might not be as human as we are and we are unwilling to accept personal responsibility for ourselves once we become adults. We all make mistakes. No one has not been hurt. And, despite all protests -- sex and the need for food are two of the most important human drivers. The bottom line is that the past colors our present and future, but it is not changeable and we all must find a way to move on to new adventures and to new beginnings. Fuck The Cleavers and the Bradys --- they do not exist. ...As much as we all wish they did. Our culture is in a bad need for a new awakening to reality.

My pal Doug back in Salem advised me to pick up Cleo Laine's CD of Stephen Sondheim songs. I did. He was right. This CD rocks! ...well, it rules anyway! However I had to listen to it twice. This afternoon I layed down in the grass (gasp!) in the Kendall Square area of Cambridge and listened to the entire CD on my Walkman. It took me a second listening because Laine's voice is a bit different and her interpretations of Sondheim are very different than the ones I am used to by Streisand, Buckley or Stritch. However, her approach is less dramatic and more straight ahead. Her cover of "Losing My Mind" is one of the saddest I have ever heard. Brilliant CD! If you don't have it, you should go get it! ...However, I have to say that she has trouble with "Everybody Says Don't" and "The Ladies Who Lunch" Those songs really need a bit more drama.

After listening to Ms. Laine I walked to the Kendall Square Cinema and saw The Twilight Samurai. I hated it. I was expecting an historically accurate classic samurai action flick. What I found was the sort of movie that the Academy Awards love --- lots of sentiment with over-wrought music. ...and no real sword fighting action to speak of. The lead actor was cute, tho.

Tonight Karl and I had dinner at the Boston Beer Works --- which serves surprisingly good food! We then took Dusty on an extended walk and subway ride to PetCo to purchase puppy supplies. It was a nice evening. Now, I am listening to Lena Horne and plan to watch a DVD before going to sleep. ...and, as it is 2am now --- I will be sleeping late!!

Friday, June 04, 2004

Reality Bitch Slap

I have worked for the same employer for 10 years and 1 month. In honor of my 10th anniversary with the firm I was given a bowl. Karl sat it on our tiny dining room table. It is pretty, but small ---- and, it is a bowl.

This morning I was walking down the hall and noticed that a colleague of mine, who has been with the firm for close to 8 years, was walking about infront of me. I started to say hello, but then my mind started to drift. She used to be so slim. She was always dressed at the height of fashion. Her hair had always been perfectly coiffed. When she walked by, all the straight men would watch with lust. Gay boys like me used to simply appreciate her sense of style and her professional savvy. And, she was never without a polite smile.

Today, 8 years later, she is slump-shouldered. Her hips extend way beyond the point of being curved or sultry. The hour glass has turned into a bell. She is wearing a brown slacks and a blue blouse. Her arms are exposed and excess flesh flaps as she walks. Her hair is cut short and sensible ---- and there are traces of grey throughout. She scowls and frowns. No one seems to notice her anymore. And, I thought, "Man, this is really sad. What has time or this place done to her?" ...and,then I thought, "What about me?"

I wonder is there is someone walking behind me thinking similar thoughts. Not that I was ever a fashion plate of sexual desire that she once was -- but I like to think that I have a certain style/flair. I don't know, but it felt like reality had bitch slapped me hard. So, I had a soda and bought a DVD at lunch. ...and, tonight I am going to the movies all alone. (sigh) ...don't cry for me, blog community.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Sometimes Things Just Work Out

Well, today was one of those days when a number of things could have gone very wrong. However, the God of Office Politics was kind to me and everything just fell together perfectly! This happens so rarely. I was most pleased! I wish I had something really interesting to post, but the last 2 days have been all about work. My best friend, Bethie, is coming over as is her boyfriend. I think we are just going to hang for a while. Oh ---- and, the new Miss Kittin CD rocks! You should rush out and get it. I also started reading Rob's new book, TRUST FUND BOYS, last night and had trouble putting it down to go to sleep. If you're gay --- go on-line and get this book! Also, I highly recommend his first novel, THE NIGHT WE MET.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Tragic Beauty

Now, I do not know much about jazz or the blues ---- but I hope to change that. I am educating myself and hope to know a lot more in the near future. However, I am listening to what has to be the most tragically beautiful recording I have ever heard. Billie Holiday and Ray Ellis Orchestra ---- the album is entitled "Lady in Satin" At once there is an almost subversive interpretation and phrasing. Almost like being scratched by a rusty nail with a soft breeze of sweet perfume running through your hair. OK, I guess that doesn't sound so very nice, but this lady could sing! ...And, I have to say that there is a certain punk philosophy which could be applied here. I really want my brother to hear this album. I guess I will need to get it for him.

I guess this is one of her last recordings. You can hear the sorrow, pain and love in every note she sings. Ray Ellis'work is flawless orchestration which you would think would work against her honest vocals, but it only enhances the power. Quite simply, this is a beautiful recording that sort of makes you want to float with the sounds both soothing and painful.

Everything I currently know about "The Lady Day" I learned from Berry Gordy's 1970's film, LADY SINGS THE BLUES. Diana Ross gave a great acting performance, but I am now rather annoyed that Gordy allowed anyone to sing her songs! If you do not have this album, you really need to get it. Heart breaking and inspiring all at once. Now, I have heard the wonderful Jimmy James impersonate Holiday's vocals on many occasions and he does a great job, but I never realized how powerful it would be to actually hear her.

Her performance of one song, "For All We Know", in particular really grabs me. I have heard a thousand interpretations of this song. Up until now, Barbra's was my favorite -- but Holiday's phrasing wipes Babs off the map. Stunning.

A Dance of Joy, with a Tinge of Sadness

I did a simple dance of joy this afternoon when the official Barbra Streisand Auction catalog arrived. I ordered it after I came to the realization that I had not a shot in Hell of securing any of the items for sale. I mean, a hair clip worn in the "I'm The Greatest Star" scene of FUNNY GIRL is going with a min bid of $2,000.00!

While I am sad that I am unable to own a brabra-ized item, I dance in celebration of the fact that I will forever have copy of the color catalog for the event. I think it frightened Karl and my brother when they realized that I recognized every item that was up for bid down to the thread. Oh, how I wish I could afford the A STAR IS BORN suit she wore when she sang "Woman In the Moon"! I don't know what I would do with it, but I want it. In the event that you should be interested in learning more about the upcoming event just visit barbrastreisand.com! sigh.