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Friday, July 30, 2004

A Brush With Porn Greatness!
 
Well, tonight is our last night in PTown!  Whaaaaaa!  Tomorrow morning we are headed to Mashpee to hang with Dusty and Karl's parental unit for a couple of days.  We saw the glamorous Miss Richfield 1981 perform tonight.  She was a blast! And, it sounds like she is about to have her own syndicated TV show called "Cooking Is A Drag!" Should be funny!

Oh! So, there is a really cool store in PTown called Symbology --- best known for their stock of "Ruff Rider" t-shirts.  Anyway, I have visited the shop a couple of times trying to decide if I wanted to purchase a Merc London messenger bag. A few days ago I went in and the clerk let me check out the bag at length. I opted not to purchase. He was very friendly and put it back up on the shelf for me and tripped as he walked back to the register stand commenting that he was a klutz.  He was also most cute.  He looked a great deal like and had identical tattoos to my current gay porn idol, Johnny Hazzard!  However, he was quite short and rather effeminate. Certainly not an issue pour moi, but I tossed aside the idea that he could be THE Johnny Hazzard as Johnny is always quite a manly-man in Chi-Chi LaRue's videos. 

However, our pal David also saw the friendly clerk and suspected that this little cute boy could be THE Johnny Hazzard.  So, the four of us trekked down to the shop in the west end and were bummed out to discover that the cute little fellow was not working.  However, David spoke right up to the other person working the counter and it was confirmed.  THE Johnny Hazzard waited on me and I did not even know it!!!!  Ah, it kills me that I didn't get to secure his autograph and a picture of the two of us together! 

I have to say, tho, my porn fantasy has been a bit tarnished.  The Johnny Hazzard of my dreams does not sew and is at least 6 feet.  Oh well. He is still the best thing to happen to porn since Joey Stefano, if you ask me.  And, unlike poor Joey, Johnny (real first name is Frankie) seemed to be quite sweet and non-drug-addled. He also exhibited no attitude!  Cool! I wonder if he has quit the biz.  Hmmm....

We have really had a nice time in PTown, but I miss Dusty something awful and I am really anxious to see her!

 

Thursday, July 29, 2004

The PTown Definition of a Pearl Necklace...

...As defined by the wondrous Varla Jean Merman ("love child" of Ethel Merman and Ernst Bornign) is probably exactly what you perverts suspect!  We saw her show tonight and it rocked! Much fun was had by all.

Our pals, David and Chad, are hanging with us as of today.  Today was David's birthday.  We didn't know until after Ms. Merman's performance at the Post Office Cabaret --- but we were able to treat him to a delightful chocolate confection at the Cafe Blase. 

The weather is looking up and tomorrow should be a great beach day!  Having loads of fun, eating too much, spending more than I should and just enjoying myself!  Sorry for the dull posting, but I just got through reviewing about 100 emails for work and it is almost 2am and I am sooooo tired!  Talk to you kids later! 

Kisses from Gay Town!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Bell
 
The weather was not good today so we did not make it to the beach.  However, a pal of ours arrived in Ptown this morning and we hung with him for a while and walked to the very end of the Ptown Getty!  Karl told me that the walk was 1 mile each way. I fear he was mistaken. I am fairly certain that we walked approximately 10 miles each way.  I was so tired that I collapsed on the sofa at this nice condo and slept away the afternoon. 

We then met up with our friend after a very nice dinner at The Crown & Anchor.  We saw Ryan Landry's summer production, "The Septic Wives"  It was a most enjoyable bit of entertainment from Mr. Landry's Goldust Orphans!  Certainly not up to the standards of his last, "Pussy on the House" --- but a fun send-up of "The Stepford Wives"

Tomorrow Karl will be going to the beach and I will be taking some "alone" time to shop.  Karl is very nervous about that, but I love my shopping while on vacation in PTown!!  Our friends, David and Chad arrive tomorrow afternoon and will be staying with us thru the rest of our vacation. I do not believe that either of them have been here during "the season" so it should be a lot of fun!

Karl let me look at all the pictures he has taken since we arrived here.  It is a good thing that my best pal, Bethie, is going to get me on a strict work-out routine because I now have the shape of a bell. This is not good.  This is even especially bad as I seem to be surrounded by gorgeous man-flesh now.  Seems that a whole load of pefection came off the ferry today and are walking about to make me feel most inferior. That is OK. Just wait till next year!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

The Facts of Life Girls Gone Bad and Posing for a Picture with Lea Delaria!  Cool!
 
We are having a great time despite unseasonably cool weather.  Tonight we saw a perverted drag version of "A Lost Episode" of The Facts of Life.  It was funny, but a little too long for my taste.  However, Karl really enjoyed it. We had a nice guy take a picture of us with the cast. Oh, and we ran into Lea Delaria again. This time I had Karl take a picture of she and I together.  I wish I knew how to post pictures to my blog. Some day I will figure it out. At any rate, Karl will be posting to his blog.

Looks like we are in for a good deal of rain for the next two days.  Not cool, but we do not care.  We will be having fun anyway.  We were able to get in a good beach day today, but the water actually got colder. The high temp for the water today was 61 degrees. I did take a dip and managed to stay in a bit longer, but could not stay in for longer than about a minute. If we are to trust the weather Doppler radar, our last several days should be really hot and humid -- so my hope is that I will get some relaxing swimming in before we return to reality. 

Monday, July 26, 2004

Dueling Bankheads, Pretty Boys, Great Food and Relaxation! 
 
I am not sure I will be blogging much during our vacation, but I had to check my emails at work and decided to go a head create a quick post. We are having a great time. Next to Montreal, Ptown is my favorite place. I got to meet Lea Delaria on Commercial Street --- or at least she handed me a flyer promoting her show at Vixen and I told her she rocks. She thanked me, called me honey and patted my shoulder --- not sure if that counts as meets, but she seemed quite nice --- and, tho I am not sure she would appreciate this, she is pretty. Nice smile and eyes.

We saw the Dueling Bankheads and they were so very funny.  I am not sure Karl enjoyed it too much because I am not so sure he knows who the great film star is that these two drag queens play in unison. 

Lots of pretty boys, but not so many that I feel inferior.  I have actually been, try not to be too shocked, cold!  I had to purchase one of those tacky zip up PTown sweat things.  I did take a jump into the Atlantic this afternoon while we were at the beach and almost died. It was sooooo cold!!!!  Anyway, hope everyone is doing well!  We are off to wander the fun that can be found on Commercial Street!

Thursday, July 22, 2004

"On Call" in PTown!
 
Yay! Tomorrow morning we leave for the Cape!  We will spend the evening with Karl's parental unit, have a lovely breakfast at Percy's (really good food!), leave Dusty with her biggest fans and head off to gay old PTown.  It is funny, but I can already feel myself starting to relax. 

It was very busy at work today.  I had an important meeting with HR --- my fellow manager needed to run out and score some caffeine.  I agreed and raided the vending machine for M&M's which I then sorted by color and ate with sips of soda.  We had our meeting and accomplished quite a bit, but I was just relieved to be able to focus on one person and eat my sorted M&M's without worry of any interviews, angry executives or upset employees.

As I was wrapping things up tonight I found myself daydreaming of lying out in the sun with cool music playing in my ears --- sometimes raising my head to look at Karl and the ocean.  Oh, I can't wait! 

The only downside is that I am "on call" for work the whole time I am out.  I will have to check my email and voice mail once a day, touch base with a fellow manager who is standing in for me as Office Manager twice a day and have my pager/cell at the ready 24/7.  I am a Democrat. I am not happy with Kerry and Edwards and I am so sick of this fucking DNC! Aside from all of the everyday hassles ---- it is the reason I have to be on the ready to jump on a ferry or rent a car to get back to Boston.  Such a pain.  Everyone gets all twitchy and nervous. I just don't know.

The one thing I do know is that I am going to PTown for a full week and am going to relax and have a sexy awesome time!!!!  ...tho, no one is allowed to take my picture while I am on the beach.  ...at least no shots below the chest.  ...Fatty does not want to be photographed!

Upon my return, my best friend is putting me on an aggressive work-out routine.  She will force me to stick to it and has made it her mission to return my body to its original hard shape when she first meet me. In fact, she told me that she is going to get my ass firmer than it ever knew it could be.  ...and, she promises that she won't make me stop with the chocolate and soda. She feels that this would be a losing battle.  I love Bethie.

I was going to take my brother, Roy, out to dinner tonight to give him a grande send off to NYC, but he got a migraine and had to go straight home and lay down.  I hope he feels better.  Feel a little blue because he will have moved to NYC by the time we return from PTown. Of course, I will be going to see him. He and his girlfriend secured a place in Astoria.  Jon can correct me, but I think that is located in the very beginning of Queens ---- not too deep into it.  So, it won't take them long to get to the city.  They will have to come to the city to visit me.  I doubt that they will be able to pry me out of Manhattan.  The city of life! Bon Voyage, Roy! Start up a new kind of Mudd Club! Get famous quick and hire me to be your PR person. I will get you loads of free stuff and publicity!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Guilt Ridden and Sweaty
 
I was in a hurry.  I had two appointments and had to leave the office promptly at 3pm.  As I rushed out of the comfort of our air-conditioned tower I was encompassed by the oppressive heat and humidity that so many of my nutty co-workers are loving.  I stumbled through the hellish heat only to be stopped by a caring Democratic pedestrian who asked me, "Would you like to help us get Bush out of the White House?"  ...well, I mumbled "no" without making eye contact.

Half a block later the guilt hit me.  I turned around and walked back to the nice young man with the clipboard. He seemed all excited to see me again.  I told him I was sorry that I had been so rude and that, yes, I would love to get Bush out of the White House ---- I then told him that I was in a hurry and dying in the heat.  As sweat poured down my face and I began to melt he began to recite a bunch of stuff.  I tried to stay polite, but I stopped him and told him I didn't have time to listen. I then added that he was preaching to the choir. What did he want from me to help his organization get Bush out of the White House.  He told me $200. 

I told him that I have given quite generously to the Kerry campaign. ...not true, but I wasn't giving some kid with a clipboard $200.  In truth, I think I donated $40 to Human Rights Campaign.  That is all I have done aside from sign a bunch of petitions.

Drenched in sweat I made my way back to the subway and headed on to my appointments. I looked like hell, but I think my deodorant has held up.  I smell good. I just look like a bit of melted sludge.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Anniversary Gas --- Or, Maybe a Bit More Than You Really Want to Know
 
Tonight Karl and I celebrate our anniversary! This is our 9th one!  As many of you have been kind enough to let me "vent" with you off-line, some know that this has been a rather challenging couple of years for the two of us. However, I was sitting at my desk trying to focus on a report and I realized how much joy Karl brings to my life and how very much I love him.  And, so it is with a great deal of love that I write, "Happy Anniversary, Karl! Thank you for sharing your life and love with me!" 
 
Now, I am not sure that what I am about to relate has anything at all to do with our anniversary --- but I feel compelled to share.  My job is a bit on the unique side.  I do not really manage the office as much as I attempt to manage people.  I think I do my job well.  I spend my days persuading, negotiating, evaluating, facilitating, resolving, convincing and reprimanding people.  The folks who work for my company are normally quite committed to what they do and approach their work with a great deal of focus. Very often boundaries get crossed.  This morning one was crossed.  A male in a position of some power at my firm was wanting to discuss an issue with me and was soliciting my advice regarding how he should go about handling a rather sensitive issue.  Nature had been calling me for several minutes prior to his entering my office.  I asked if I could follow-up with him after I took a quick run to the restroom.
 
...He said yes, but his actions just begged "no"  ---- he followed me as I walked toward the men's room and continued to speak to me about something that was really a rather private topic. I suggested that we hold off till we could get to either his office or back to mine. I offered to swing back to his office --- and, yet he continued to talk and question.  He followed me into the can and, had I not secured the door to the stall, I think he would have entered with me. 
 
And, then it happened. He said, "Well, I will wait a minute"  ---- and, I could hear him sighing and pacing on the tile floor.  A slow, steady and quite powerful squeal began to flow from my ass.  I could no longer hear him pacing, but I could hear him breathing not too far from my stall.  The squeal changed level to more of a moanin' low sort of intestinal squall --- then it turned to a sort of high-pitched gush of sound and odor.  I couldn't stop it.  My ass just kept playing a sort of melody of fart that went on for at least 4 minutes!  And, I assure you that I am not exaggerating.
 
At last, the longest fart in history came to a close and my "client" stated --- "Listen, why don't we get together on this tomorrow! Take care, Matt!" 
 
...oh, the humanity.


Sunday, July 18, 2004

A Very Gay Sunday Afternoon!
 
I do believe that my back is almost back to 100%!  It damn well should be!  After a most dreary day at work on Friday, I came home and have done nothing but lay on my back and stare at DVD's on the TV.  I only just started moving around normally about 3 hours ago.  I have spent my afternoon watching Judy Garland in her last movie with the gorgeous Dirk Bogarde, "I Could Go On Singing!" --- with our little Shih-Tzu puppy.  Somehow, the only way it could have been any more gay would have been for me to have had one of those pretty drinks with a pink umbrella floating in it!  The movie is not good, but it is so totally 1963 that one just is just unable to look away. --- And, there are some great musical moments! 
 
Hope everyone had a glorious weekend!
 
Just four more working days till Karl and I head to PTown!!!!  I will be on call for work, but my hope is that I will not have to rush back to Boston during the DNC.  ...but, we shall see!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

What Are You Going To Do About The Tears?

People and their application of "logic" and "religion" always manages to surprise me. I hope Towleroad! will not mind, but I found this horrid little website and article this article thanks to his awesome website.

While I do not think anything near a hate crime was being committed and do not entirely agree with her response, I applaud the "...very sloppily put together Marilyn Monroe look-alike" --- as the writer describes her. She sounds fucking beautiful to me!

So much is revealed by this "ex-gay" dude when he writes, "I can only imagine how the Lord feels" --- I can only imagine too, but from the other perspective. If there are tears falling from Heaven, I would venture to suggest that they are falling for the sad folks behind this website and such sad atrocities as this "war" we are never going to be able to "win" --- Somehow, I do not think loving gay parents, gay/lesbian couples holding hands, or the revilers of hetro spring break or us homos partying in PTown is cause for holy alarm. People really need to get a grip.

Pain, Pain, And, Yes ---- Even More Pain

I feel like Julianne Moore in "Safe" --- pathetic and stuck on a sofa which is probably toxic. ...You would have to see that movie to understand my lame attempt at humor. Anyway, I think my back is a bit better, but it still kills. I might just be so sick of it hurting that I am just a wimp with it at this point. I am giving myself one more day to lay on the sofa and take ibuprofen.

Dave -- don't get mad, but I am not too good with drug intake. Karl already yelled at me. I took 5 last night thinking that would equal 100 mg --- then I realized that these are 200 mg each. I do think it helped the pain tho, and seemed to knock me out for the evening! I am drinking lots and lots of water.

Well, no matter --- I have to get my ass back to work tomorrow or I will never catch up. And, I am sure my boss is ready to toss me out of the 48th floor window. Especially, as Karl and I leave for Ptown a week from tomorrow. UGH!

Oh, please visit Karl's Blog today -- he is taking a poll and has published a really cute picture of himself --- plus a really cute picture of Dusty in her first pink ribbon. They are both soooooo cute! By the way, please encourage him to grow the beard!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Mistake

I slept well last night with only minor back pain. Still sore, but not so bad. I was feeling quite optimistic. Dusty, as per usual, made her deposits on the floor and not on her pad.

Now, bending is rather difficult at the moment. So I do it carefully. However, while cleaning up her second deposit I did something wrong. I do not know what I did --- but a pain shot thru my back that took my breath away. I've taken more Tylenol, but only feel OK when lying on my back. I am so sick of being stuck in this condo! Ugh!

I hurt, I feel old and fat. Dusty must sense I am upset because she stays by me all of the time making a sad sort of "coo-ing" sound. OK, back to the sofa I go. ...bored out of my mind!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Karl Returns And Matt Has A MisAdventure!

Karl returned from his vacation yesterday! I am unable to put into word how good it was to see him walk in the door! He looked so sexy --- and rested! He had a great time and came in with two pairs of new shoes purchased in Philly! ...Alas, they for himself, but they rocked! They were selected by his on-line pal, Chris, who he met in Philly for a couple of days of touristing. Chris has outstanding taste in shoes and music --- based upon the mix CD's he had made for Karl's train ride home. Looks like I may be meeting Chris and his life-partner this fall in PTown. Karl brought me a bar of soap with magnet letters spelling "Phagot" which I believe is the name of a cute store somewhere in Philly. I've no idea what that word means! He also brought me a cool night shirt from with a neat logo from a cool hang-out in that area. I also got a colonial girl paper doll set. This paper doll set is so un-cool that one must claim it as neat-O.

Ok, so I have to fess up to several of you guys. Please don't be mad, but Karl had access to our email and my Blog while he was on vacation and I didn't want to ruin his time. No big deal, but I got sick last Wednesday night thru to the weekend. Don't be made at me! Anyway, I thought it was a bug or something. I felt really tired this weekend and didn't do too much, but I figured it was just from being so sick for 2.5 days.

So, as I was walking into the lobby of the building in which I work I was struck with a horrendous pain in my back. It actually felt like a knife was going thru my back and up and thru to my chest. By the time I got to my office on the 45th floor I had lost the feeling in my left arm, was on the verge of passing out and couldn't catch my breath to speak. I called the security office for help --- the medical people arrived within minutes and they thought I was having a heart attack. They pulled my shirt off and put these sticky things on me in case they needed to AED me. I was placed on a stretcher and one of those big oxygen masks on me. Next thing I knew I was in an ambulance. Not sure if I had passed out or not. Anyway, they lifted the mask and asked me to open my mouth and lift my tongue --- then they sprayed nitro or something. Then this guy was inserting an IV in my arm, the ambulance hit a big bump and something went wrong with that needle -- It killed and I made the mistake of looking over to see blood shooting up into the air. I just shut my eyes and one of the guys was commenting to the poor guy trying to do the IV that he should have been wearing his goggles.

I spent the next 9.5 hours in one of the emergency rooms at Mass General while they did all kinds of EKG's and blood tests. Luckily all worked out quite well in the end. Nothing wrong with my heart and all my blood work was fine. The doctor told me that I was very dehydrated, appeared that I had a viral infection of some sort as I was running a low grade temp which they were having trouble keeping down. ...And, that I had somehow managed to put my lower back out --- no real damage, just a "sprained muscle" that was/is causing a great deal of pain. The combo of the pain, weakened state and a panic attack caused me to experience what had appeared like a heart attack. The doctor wanted to know what I had been drinking from Wednesday to present. I told him soda because it settled my stomach. I guess that was not a good answer. This is why I was dehydrated. So, he told me to go home, drink lots of water, lay on my back --- but to take walks around the condo or building 4 to 5 times a day. He felt I would be ready to return to work by Thursday.

So, that was my day yesterday, but Karl is home! And, I do wear his shoe size! Yay! I am drinking water and taking Tylenol for the back pain. My legs are still kind of achey -- so I guess I am still running a bit of fever. Fun!

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Liz Taylor Gets All Kinky on our Ass!

Granted, it was the early 70's and the world seemed to be going a bit crazy with polysester and the combination of colors like orange, blue and pink --- but THIS may be the strangest movie I have ever seen. ...And, I have seen a lot of strange movies. I take pride in that, but this one just kept my mouth dropped through to the very end.

Please note I did not state that it was good, but when one puts Elizabeth Taylor, Andy Warhol and an eccentric Italian filmmaker in Germany and Rome in 1973 --- the results are destined to be quite odd, but quite interesting to watch all the same. I wonder if Liz lists this one on her resume. I think it even tops BOOM! for sheer so bad it is good! One really must see it to believe it.

What makes me all the more curious is that this was no small budget venture. I mean they had Vittorio Storaro behind the camera for this! I wonder what they were all thinking.

Friday, July 09, 2004

My Friday Night

Missing Karl and feeling a bit blue. However, poor Dusty seems to be in a state of perpetual fear of being abandoned. It is not unusual for her to want to cuddle with me when I am watching a DVD or listening to music, but she loves to play with Karl. If I even get up to go into another room she is on my heels crying. At first I was worried she was sick or something, but she is not. She just wants to be held all of the time. She even let me give her a bath without putting up any kind of fight. Yet, she sat beside the shower as I was bathing myself. ...And crying until I opened the curtain and she could see me.

I will be chatting with Karl for a few in about 20 minutes.

The rest of the evening will be me, Dusty and some DVD's. Exciting stuff, people! I live on the edge. Anyway,I plan to watch Jacques Demy's THE YOUNG GIRLS OF ROCHERFORT, a Claude Chabrol flick called L'ENFER and an Italian film by Michelangelo Antonioni called L'Avventura. So, after a chat with Karl --- this will be an evening of French musical, French sexy mysteries and experimental Italian film from the 1960's.

Last night I watched Bruce Campbell as a geriatric Elvis and Ossie Davis as a dyed black JFK battle an evil mummy terrorizing an old folks home in East Texas. This was called BUBBA HO-TEP and I loved every minute of it. I highly recommend it! Who knew that mummies could suck your soul from your ass hole? I do not understand the sort of warped mind that could write such a script and then direct it for the big screen, but I am thrilled that such an individual exists!

Hope your Friday night is more interesting than mine!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

The Ever-Expanding Cult of Ayn Rand

So I took this test that I found on Famous Author Rob's Blog. This is how I "scored"

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 60/100
Constructiveness: 60/100
Leadership: 96/100


You are an SRCL--Sober Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you an Ayn Rand ideal. Taggart? Roark? Galt? You are all of these. You were born to lead. You may not be particularly exciting, but you have a strange charisma--born of intellect and personal drive--that people begin to notice when they have been around you a while. You don't like to compromise, but you recognize when you have to.

You care absolutely nothing what other people think, and this somehow attracts people to you. Treat them well, use them wisely, and ascend to your rightful rank.


...The only thing which annoys me is that I do not care much for Ayn Rand. I always felt I was being pelted by her words as I read them. ...And she always seems so, (shudder) Republican or something.

Also, I have tried and tried. I know that I am supposed to love Truffaut's The Last Metro, but I just do not like it that much. I find watching it to be a chore. So, why do so many brilliant people love this film??? To be honest, I do not think I have ever liked a Truffaut film. Does this make me a bad person? What would Ayn Rand think?

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Chasing Your Tail and Crying at the Door...

...such is the life of my poor little princess, Dusty. We are both missing Karl, but Dusty has a harder time hiding it. Seems that I am either soothing her in my arms or she is chasing her tail for hours on end. She has also grown fond of sitting at either the front door or the door to our bedroom and crying. I made the mistake of putting Karl on speaker phone last night. Karl spoke to Dusty. She has been somewhat obsessed with the phone ever since. In addition to spoiling her, I fear I am making her neurotic as well.

While I am missing Karl, I am enjoying the fact that the TV is off and I am listening to whatever I want at top volume! Dusty really likes the new Angie Stone CD! However, Nana Mouskouri and Cleo Laine seem to upset her a bit.

Hey, how many of you boys were in NYC for Stonewall Anniversary Pride? And, if you were --- do you remember how fucking cool Liza Minnelli was when she came out and sand "The Day After That" from KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN? Remember how she pledged that she would sing this song till we beat the AIDS crisis? ...Does anyone know if she stood by her pledge? That was a great Pride! I got pictures of Liza, Carol Channing, Lady Bunny, Lipsynka, Chita Rivera, Pete Townsend and Nathan Lane. ...Then I smashed my camera and exposed my film when I thought I found THE PERFECT pair of platform boots! ...Damian would not let me buy them.

So, now --- that very special Pride is just a memory. But the memory that sticks in my head the most is Liza singing that great song. ...And my "ex" -- we will refer to him as AssHole -- shared a bed with me at the Paramount and tried to "do" me and then claimed he was sleep-fucking. Granted, that was a witty response, but I was still embarrassed because 2 other friends were sleeping on the floor and heard the whole sorrdid escapade and actually accused me of being cheap. I was not -- nor have I ever been cheap. I am just a little bit easy.

I wonder whatever happened to the 3 of them? Hmmmm...

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Matt Attempts A Top 10 List of Favorite Movies!

About 3 weeks ago, an email pal suggested I create a listing of my 10 favorite movies of all time. He suggested this because he knows how much I love movies and also because he knows how hard it is for me to make up my mind. I mean, what is the criteria for a top 10 listing of this type? Do I include some of my all time favorite bad movies like MOMMIE DEAREST or VALLEY OF THE DOLLS? I mean, we all know it isn’t easy to make films that straddle the line between genius and horrendous like those two films do! What about all of those musicals I love? I could create a top 10 listing for horror films alone! So, what I have done over the course of the last couple of weeks is to list out the names of movies that have had an impact on my world/life view --- movies that matter to me! --- movies that I can watch over and over again. It hasn’t been easy for me. At any rate, these are my top 10 favorite movies of all time. If you haven’t seen them, then I think you should! Oh, and there is no particular order to my list. I am just not able to break it down that far!

1. Nashville Robert Altman’s brilliant 1975 film feels like it was all improvised, but this is a very scripted look at American pop and political culture captured in the world of the country and western music industry. Watch out for Ronee Blakely’s nervous breakdown scene! Like the film, it is both comical and tragic.

2. The Wizard of Oz this is a perfect film. It can entertain any age and continues to do so 60 plus years after it was originally released. I do not care what you say --- you know that those flying monkeys scare you. Go ahead, you can admit it! I also find it interesting that I always notice new things when I watch this film --- and I have watched it a lot! I think it really is a magical film.

3. Manhattan Woody Allen’s 1979 film is the ultimate tribute to the ultimate city! Just the first 10 minutes of the film --- a collection of breathtaking shots of the city to the music of Gershwin. Amazing. I feel that this is Woody Allen’s greatest moment as filmmaker. It also features one of Diane Keaton’s best performances. The cinematography is outstanding and, I think, the best that Gordon Willis has ever done.

4. Annie Hall This film helped me to create the fantasy that Woody Allen and Diane Keaton must be my real parents. I was convinced that I was their forgotten love child who desperately needed to be removed from Texas and returned to what had to be my natural surroundings. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched this movie. ANNIE HALL played in my hometown of Beaumont, Texas for exactly 4 days. Is that not culturally sad or what?!?!?

5. Tommy Ken Russell’s film version of The Who classic. Like the original record by The Who captured the pop culture of the 1960’s and the Broadway play captured the pop culture of the late 80’s/early 90’s --- Russell’s film perfectly captures the pop culture of the 1970’s. And, he captures it with folks like Elton John, Tina Turner, Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey! I really think that MTV owes a great deal to this groundbreaking film. Plus, how can anyone resist watching Ann-Margret roll around in beans and soap bubbles!?!?! God, I love this movie and all of its excess!

6. All About Eve A perfect Hollywood movie about Broadway. This 1950 movie still packs a punch and manages to convey things to the audience without having the benefit of going R-rated. Brilliant screenplay. And the cast could never be better. However, I think this one belongs to Bette Davis and Thelma Ritter all the way. If you do not want to belt Anne Baxter by the second half of this film, you are not human! A must see!!!

7. Under the Sand Francois Ozon’s first serious film is a classic. I suspect that this will be one of those movies that film scholars study in the year’s to come. This film is not so much a story as it is a study of grief. Charlotte Rampling is brilliant in the lead role. This film is fascinating, scary, mysterious, sexy and very French.

8. The Piano Teacher From German born filmmaker, Michael Haneke, comes the story of a piano teacher’s downward spiral to insanity due to the sick sexual relationship she establishes with one of her students. This film can be read several ways. Is it a study of madness? The story of obsessive love gone too far? Or, is it a symbolic story of a country slowly caving into madness thanks to the re-birth of fascism and hatred? However, the viewer interprets, this is a powerful film. Isabelle Huppert gives the performance of her career. Warning --- this is not a film for everyone.

9. Wild At Heart Who knew what to make of David Lynch’s 1990 film? While not as powerful as BLUE VELVET, as weird as ERASERHEAD or as seductive as MULHOLLAND DRIVE --- this is my favorite David Lynch movie! Disturbing, funny, sexy and always surprising --- this is a great movie. In addition, it is oddly American in style and form. This is the ultimate road movie ---- and you never know where the road is going to lead! This film also contains one of my all time favorite film lines read with great bravado by Laura Dern who begs for some lovin’ from Nicholas Cage by letting him know that she is hotter than Georgia asphalt! This movie also proves that Grace Zabrinski may be the most terrifying woman in the world! If anyone understands the many references to THE WIZARD OF OZ --- please let me know. And why isn’t this masterpiece on DVD yet????

10. OK, I am unable to restrict myself to 10 movies. There are just three more that I dearly love for various reasons and I simply must have them on my listing! A Star Is Born Barbra’s 1976 remake and the biggest moneymaker of her career is my favorite Barbra movie. Shut up! It just is! Also sharing the spot for my 10th favorite is
8 Femmes a silly and campy little musical staring some of the key French Cinematic Divas! A twisted little tribute to Vincente Minnelli and Douglas Sirk, I think this movie is just a lot of fun. Obviously, I love the work of Francois Ozon. The last film to share the spot for number ten is Valley of the Dolls staring the picture-perfect Barbara Perkins as Anne Welles, the stiff-acting style of Sharon Tate as Jennifer North and, of course, a pre-medicated Patty Duke as Neely O’Hara! The great thing about this movie is how very bad it really is --- and how much fun it is to watch! You know you are watching a true gem when all of the female characters seem to be drag queens! How can anyone not love THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS! Be sure to watch out for the great Susan Hayward who, rumor has it, demanded to do her own singing. …As any viewer will painfully observe, she should have opted for the singing stand-in!

Well, that is my list. If I were forced to pick 10, well 12, movies to call my favorites – these would be my choices!







Monday, July 05, 2004

Me, Myself, Dusty and I

Karl leaves for his trip to NJ and Philly tomorrow. He will be gone for a week. He felt he needed to get some time alone. And, I think it might be good for both of us. So, for the next week it is just me and Dusty --- all alone. It will be OK. I can play the stereo as loud as I want with music I love, but that Karl hates. I will be able to listen to Angie Stone, Mary J Blige and Diana Ross at top volume without protest!

However, I am going to miss Karl. I am also going to be worrying about him a lot. Karl is a very smart man with a great sense of direction, but he does not always seem to notice his immediate surroundings. However, I am just not going to think about this.

And, let us not even discuss poor Dusty. She is going to be so lost without Karl. Despite the fact that Karl does not care much for her and is consistently yelling about the poor puppy --- Dusty loves Karl blindly. He is the man for her. She will be missing him big time! Also, I am going to have to leave the office at lunch to come home and let her out of the cage for about 10 minutes or so and give her lunch. Our normal pet sitter is on vacation. Luckily, this is a slower time of year for accounting firms --- so I don't think it will be a big deal. The main problem is that I will be a sweating mess by the time I get home via the subway and back to work within an hour!

I am anticipating a great return gift from Karl. He better get me something nice! ...And, I am not talking about a magnet!!! Are ya readin' this,Baby?!??! lol!

Sunday, July 04, 2004

4th of July

You know, I have a friend who was born on the 4th of July --- but I am unable to remember who it is. I think it is Bill. So, Bill if you should read this --- Happy Birthday! ...I think.

I think I feel less patriotic than usual. I do not like a lot of what I see our administration doing. However, I hope everyone has fun watching fireworks. They scare me. Sounds like what I think war must sound like. Hope I never have to know what it sounds like for real. I would much rather leave it to my imagination.

Our pal, Sven and his boyfriend are in town later today. We are going out to dinner and I think Karl is going to take them somewhere to watch fireworks. I think they wanted to trek over to the Boston Pops thing at the Hatch Shell, but they agreed that they really didn't want to join the other 800,000 folks who will be there. The weather in Boston is fantastic, tho! A bit warm, but does not seem humid. It is currently 75 degrees at 1pm.

Well, as you can see this is an exciting post! Sorry. Promise to do better later!

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Uncomfortable Sex Dreams

Marlon Brando died. I always thought he was the best example of how cruel time can be on the human body. At one time, he was the most beautiful looking man.

I had a dream that I was doing a friend of mine. I hate it when that happens. You know, when you dream of having sex with someone to whom you have no sexual attraction? When this does happen to me, the sex in the dream is usually accompanied with odd music. In the case of last night's dream the music was that old Kristy & Jimmy McNichol song from the late 70's, "He's A Dancer" ----- which is really odd because that song must be burred deep within the "bowels" of my brain. Yet, the song was there and I was having sex with "X" --- most uncomfortable. Now, when I see this person I will mentally visualize the two of us having sex to the strains of "He's A Dancer" ...Gross.

Oh, I saw this
movie last night. I was so funny! You must see it! I think it is so cool that it is getting a standard release because it is anything but standard! I also saw this and loved every minute. It is getting a very limited run in the US. I just love Isabelle. The title of this film has been translated to "Ghost River" --- Now, I am not able to speak French, but I am fairly certain that a more accurate translation would be "The Promise of Life" ...Makes you wonder how much of the translation for subtitles is wrong. Anyway, it was very French. Most cool!

Well, we are off to train with Dusty again --- and we may drive to the Cape and make a surprise visit to see Karl's parental unit.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

My All Time Favorite Albums (or CD's)

Well, Under_Ling just posted a list of his favorite albums. I found it quite interesting to see what music adds flavor to his life. Although, it may not really be possible to know someone via his or her blog ---- his list of music made me feel as if I had deeper insight into he is and what he is all about. The same is true for one of my other favorite bloggers, Tim. Tim always posts his fave songs or albums on his blog. I find it fun to find out to what he is listening.

Music is so important to me. I am never without it. So, after being inspired this evening by Mr. Under_Ling --- I am now going to share my favorite albums. These are the ones I could not live without. I thought it would be easier for me to compile a listing. I have spent the past hour looking at my collection and the following is what I've come up with. They are in no particular order. I do not have a favorite CD

Oh, and if this sort of thing bores you, just skip this post and check back later. However, aren't we allowed to be totally self-indulgent in our blogs? I think we are!

First of all, I am unable to just include the music of Barbra into a group of other artists. No, she must have her own list. The following are my all-time fave Babs recordings.

Barbra!

1. The Barbra Streisand Album --- her first album! I think it might be close to her best, as well. Every track is just perfect -- partly because this was before she became obsessed with being perfect.

2. The Second Barbra Streisand Album --- I adore her covers of "Down with Love" and "When the Sun Comes Out"

3. Simply Streisand --- It is just simply barbra!

4. The Way We Were --- This album was released when I was in the first grade. I played it so much my father took it away from me for a while because he was sick of hearing it over and over again.

5. Funny Lady --- The soundtrack. Track 13, "If I Love Again" just breaks my heart every time I hear it.

6. Lazy Afternoon --- So relaxing and funky. Put it in the CD player on a rainy day or Sunday morning and just let the music surround you. My favorite track is "A Child Is Born"

7. A Star Is Born --- Evergreen, Lost Inside of You and Queen Bee and that way-cool afro do! 70's Babs at her peak!

8. Streisand Superman --- Great pop album from 1977! Love Comes From Unexpected Places is my fave track.

9. Yentl --- the soundtrack. I really think her voice was at its very best at the time this was recorded. And I love the LeGrande score.

10. The Broadway Album --- A bit overly-synthesized, but fantastic all the same!

My Other Faves!

1. Boys for Pele by Tori Amos and Dilate by Ani DiFranco --- bitter anger at every lover who ever fucked you over! For me, these two CD's took the place of NIN's Downward Spiral.

2. Vespertine by Bjork --- Oh, that nutty Bjork! I love listening to this CD on headphones with my eyes shut!

3. Hounds of Love by Kate Bush --- At the time that this album came out, it seemed so totally unique. I felt it had an intelligence factor one seldom finds in pop. The whole "Ninth Wave" cycle from side 2 is my favorite pieces from this work. However, I don't think you can listen just to one track from this album. Each song depends on the one that follows it. Come back to the Five & Dime, Kate Bush, Kate Bush!!! We need you, baby!

4. Welcome to my Nightmare by Alice Cooper --- I had such a huge crush on Alice when I was a kid! It is all a bit silly, but I love every bit of it!

5. Eat to the Beat! by Blondie --- Actually, I love every Blondie album ever made --- but this one is my favorite. Super cool even almost 25 years later!

6. Broken English by Marianne Faithfull --- A perfect rock album. "Why D'Ya Do It?" is the best track! Still shocks people when they hear it for the first time.

7. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac --- The Mac at their most experimental and disjointed. Great rock! I have many memories of getting stoned to this album. Unlike Pink Floyd records -- this one still seems cool to me. God, this came out in 1980. I was 13 and me and my troubled friends listened to this all of the time! Makes me think of Galveston.

8. OK, this is stoner mode #8 and it contains more than one album because I like each one equally: Bella Donna by Stevie Nicks, Physical Graffiti by Led Zeppelin, Dreamboat Annie by Heart and Horses by Patti Smith Group. These 4 recordings got me through high school.

9. Don't Cry Out Loud by Melissa Manchester --- Shut up! I am not even going to acknowledge your mockery! My Grandmother and I used to listen to this album all of the time. Makes me think of her. Makes me feel safe.

10. Tommy --- The 1975 movie soundtrack. This movie and this album occupied most of my 8 year old thoughts. There is no better Acid Queen than Tina Turner, by the way!

11. Bad Girls by Donna Summer and Diana by Diana Ross --- Disco was about to end, but not before we got these two awesome albums!

12. Songs in the Key of Life by Stevie Wonder and "Simple Dream" by Linda Rondstadt --- Perfect albums! I played them till you could almost see thru the vinyl.

13. Faster Than The Speed of Night by Bonnie Tyler and Bat Out of Hell by MeatLoaf --- Two perfect white trash rock operas from the warped mind of Jim Steinman! God, I love these two albums!!!

14. Rickie Lee Jones (self titled) and Ladies of they Canyon by Joni Mitchell --- I just link both of these albums together. I usually play one right after the other. I have always thought of Rickie Lee Jones as Joni gone all bad attitude. Great albums!

15. Haunted by Poe --- This CD flopped, but it is so damned good! "Hey Pretty" is a classic track! ...as is "The 5&1/2 Minute Hallway" ...the entire CD is inspired by her brother's horrific novel, "House of Leaves" which you should read if you like horror/sci-fi.

16. Felt Mountain by Goldfrapp --- dark, twisted and just plain neat! A great listen when you are lying all alone in the dark.

17. Lady in Satin by Billie Holiday --- a new discovery for me, but one of the most powerful recordings I have ever heard. It demands the listener to just stop and listen.

18. The Power of Pussy by Bongwater --- If you have never heard it or you do not own it. Then, something is wrong! No record collection is complete without this fantastic album!!!!

19. To Venus and Back by Tori Amos --- "1,000 Oceans" is one of the most beautiful and sad songs I have ever heard. I just love this CD.

20. Sexplosion by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult --- decadent fun from the sick and twisted gay duo of Buzz McCoy and Groovie Mann. Sure, they are a bit on the satanic side --- but they know how to groove, baby!!! "Sex On Wheels" is an early 90's club classic!

The following CD's are turning into music I could never live without, but have not quite made it to that level with me yet. ...but we are close!

Morvern Callar --- the soundtrack to the cool and creepy Samantha Morton movie. Great compilation of music!

Portishead (self titled) --- their second album. It is just hypnotic to me.

Fantasmo by Crossover --- Wicked awesome NYC duo!

Five by Five by Pizzicato Five --- OK, so this is really an EP, but it is just perfect!

Dedicated to Nelson by Rosemary Clooney --- Awesome all the way 'round!

...anything by The Lords of Acid and The Miranda Sex Garden.