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Thursday, August 24, 2006

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU NEEDEvery once in a while he needed her to talk to him like she was his mother. He didn't need this very often and he certainly did not anticipate it. However, that day, he really needed her to talk to him. And, he needed her to talk to him like a mother would.

But, that day, she wasn't available. She was unwilling.

He wanted to pretend that it was no big deal and that it didn't matter.

But he couldn't. And, it did matter. It mattered a great deal.

Was the pain from the fact that it didn't matter to her or did it hurt so much because it mattered to him? He wasn't sure. This left him feeling quite alone.

9 Comments:

Blogger ing said...

Okay, here's me trying to explain this to myself:

His aloneness stems from not knowing the source of his own pain. In this piece, the mother could maybe provide that knowledge: This is the source, this. He needs his mom to explain himself to himself, otherwise he's "alone". Aloneness, then, is the chaos that arises when a man isn't possessed of a mother who loves her son enough to make herself available to define him. Which is another way of saying that aloneness is the separation of son and mother.

This is an extremely complex mother-son relationship!

5:04 PM  
Blogger matty said...

LOL! Well, I guess "complex" is one way of putting it. I think sometimes things are what they are and you just have to "buck up" and move forward. I don't know what else to do sometimes.

Like Debbie sang, "...keep moving!"

New Isabelle H tomorrow night and both B and Alan are joining us!!!! Yay!!!! Surrounded by love! My fave thing!!!

8:24 PM  
Blogger ing said...

Me too!! This is going to be fun.

Okay, back to work. . .

8:51 PM  
Blogger Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

You know, at first when I saw your profile pic, I thought your were playing air guitar. I looked again, and I saw that you're playing something else all together. Cool...

10:19 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Daniel -- Thanks! Yes! Sadly, it is the only instrument I play well. ...and, I don't even need sheet music! LOL!

10:35 PM  
Blogger Karyn said...

Big hugs for you, Matty. I am mindful, ever mindful, that I am The Mother and not A Peer. It is easy to want to be popular with the chitlins and give way to that but it is more important to be a good mom. I hope I'm getting it right.

(BTW I choked on my coffee laughing at your sheet music remark.)

4:18 AM  
Blogger matty said...

Karyn -- I always knew you'd be the best mom on the block! Quite true.

7:35 AM  
Blogger ginab said...

Hmm, drop a related question over to Dropping Knowledge and maybe we'll all have the answer.

What came first...

my doc told me, upon hearing my blood pressure results, and she brought out a book, she said, "it's found that people with a pattern of low blood pressure believe they were never loved as a child".

maybe he needs a dose of amphetamines.

2:19 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Gina --- I will have to check that link out! ...all drug'd out, but if he must he would opt for Valium.

3:47 PM  

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