THE INNER GIRRRRRRL...

No pictures today, kids. Blogger is giving me attitude. Anyway, it is too bad because I had a lovely photo of me encased in glitter and all things spark'ly!

You know, in my heart lurkes the soul of a 14 year old girl. I am not ashamed. She is there and she is me. She dictates many of my tastes much to my shock and amusement.

She loves sugar, puppy love and happy/sappy tunes with a certain degree of funk which is just this side of audio safe. I suspect she is a bit of a slut. You know the one who the other girls whisper about and the ones the boys desire but would never bring "home to meet Mom" --- the one who wants to be a cheerleader but weighs a little too much to be on the squad and the one who wears too much eyeliner. You know my inner girl -- she scribbles sweet things on her pink notebook but hides them with Nirvana stickers. She wears her clothes a bit too tight and thinks it's cool for you to see her thong when she bends over. She's the girl you know who relates more to Stockard Channing than Olivia Newton-John in GREASE.

And, while you might have perceived her as "loose" she would give her heart and soul to the boy who would love and respect her. You know she spends her evenings listening to Joni Mitchell but would prefer to dance to Goldfrapp. However, she knows that you think both artists are "too gay" so she buys the Top 10 stuff when you're watching.

You remember my inner girl. She's the one who sits by herself at the lunch table wishing she were somewhere else. She is friendly to everyone and even helps pick the spit balls out of that geek's hair. He acts embarrassed but loves that she (or anyone) actually touches his hair. My inner girl worries that the geeky boy wants to kiss her but she knows she would kiss him if he asked her. She pretends to like horses because girls are supposed to like them. She would really rather be in a fast car. She pretends to be in love with James Blunt but she really goes for the lead singer of Radiohead. She will never admit to knowing his name. When the other kids in her class rolled their eyes at that Madonna video she secretly smiled at the thought of Madonna driving that car around, hurting people and then crashing it into a pole. For her, that is what it often feels like to be a girl. But she agreed with the other kids and said it was dumb.

She is smarter than you think but she is also kind of emotionally stupid. Her heart gets hurt a lot. But that's my inner girl. She is forever fourteen and will always be looking out the window wishing for more than what life delivered.

We should all be a lot more friendly toward her and stop talking about her behind her back.

She's more like you than you want to admit. You know it. You know her.