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Wednesday, August 23, 2006


No pictures today, kids. Blogger is giving me attitude. Anyway, it is too bad because I had a lovely photo of me encased in glitter and all things spark'ly!

You know, in my heart lurkes the soul of a 14 year old girl. I am not ashamed. She is there and she is me. She dictates many of my tastes much to my shock and amusement.

She loves sugar, puppy love and happy/sappy tunes with a certain degree of funk which is just this side of audio safe. I suspect she is a bit of a slut. You know the one who the other girls whisper about and the ones the boys desire but would never bring "home to meet Mom" --- the one who wants to be a cheerleader but weighs a little too much to be on the squad and the one who wears too much eyeliner. You know my inner girl -- she scribbles sweet things on her pink notebook but hides them with Nirvana stickers. She wears her clothes a bit too tight and thinks it's cool for you to see her thong when she bends over. She's the girl you know who relates more to Stockard Channing than Olivia Newton-John in GREASE.

And, while you might have perceived her as "loose" she would give her heart and soul to the boy who would love and respect her. You know she spends her evenings listening to Joni Mitchell but would prefer to dance to Goldfrapp. However, she knows that you think both artists are "too gay" so she buys the Top 10 stuff when you're watching.

You remember my inner girl. She's the one who sits by herself at the lunch table wishing she were somewhere else. She is friendly to everyone and even helps pick the spit balls out of that geek's hair. He acts embarrassed but loves that she (or anyone) actually touches his hair. My inner girl worries that the geeky boy wants to kiss her but she knows she would kiss him if he asked her. She pretends to like horses because girls are supposed to like them. She would really rather be in a fast car. She pretends to be in love with James Blunt but she really goes for the lead singer of Radiohead. She will never admit to knowing his name. When the other kids in her class rolled their eyes at that Madonna video she secretly smiled at the thought of Madonna driving that car around, hurting people and then crashing it into a pole. For her, that is what it often feels like to be a girl. But she agreed with the other kids and said it was dumb.

She is smarter than you think but she is also kind of emotionally stupid. Her heart gets hurt a lot. But that's my inner girl. She is forever fourteen and will always be looking out the window wishing for more than what life delivered.

We should all be a lot more friendly toward her and stop talking about her behind her back.

She's more like you than you want to admit. You know it. You know her.


Blogger Lubin said...

Oh, there are worse things you could do, than kiss a boy or two...

2:07 PM  
Blogger Brookelina said...

But to cry in front of you....that's the worst thing I could dooooooo.....

4:13 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Lubin & Brooke -- My inner girl takes a drag on her cig, holds back the tears and then runs down the hall to detention...

5:07 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

Blogger is such a bitch that hates pictures. Whoy do you think I switch to posting YouTube?

Olivia Newton-John, the first thing that comes off my mind is the song "I Honestly Love You"--I'm such a king of sap.

Did the inner girl have her cookie and diet coke today?

I'll see you soon Matty.

6:28 PM  
Blogger ing said...

My girl is also fourteen. She's never been kissed, though, and she's very flat-chested. She doesn't consider the cheerleading team, not for a second, though she knows she can out-dance them all. And I'm afraid she relates to Olivia-Newton-John more than Stockard Channing.

9:01 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Matt -- Yeah, blogger can get annoying when it comes to pix postings from time to time. I don't think you're a sap. I love that song, too. Not sure what the innergirl had but I did have my diet coke and cookie late this afternoon. Dinner again sometime? Fun!

Ing -- Oh, I think my innergirl attempted to copy your answers in algebra. Yeah, she sometimes cheats! Seriously, I think we all have inner spirits. I got the idea for this post as I was watching a teenage girl scrawl things into the palm on her hand with a black sharpie. I hurt for her. It was sad. It isn't easy being green. I think a frog said that.

9:36 PM  
Blogger ing said...

Yep, a frog. And he was dead-on.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I can always have a nice dinner. Now that I'm single by defintion, I can go out whenever. I haven't seen "him" for a month--wellhe didn't suggest anything although we talk every other day on the phone. I don't know what to make of it??? Do you?

9:32 AM  
Blogger joe said...


6:37 AM  
Blogger matty said...

Ing -- You are the best.

Matt -- Yes! Dinner! Soon! ...and, good ridance to that one! Find someone who appreciates you for you and respects you! Dammit!

Joe -- Thank you!

5:21 PM  

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