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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

...Last night I had horrible dreams of the David Lynch baby, Liza Minnelli chasing me in a backstage sort of space with a butcher knife singing the spelling of her name
and being force fed shoe soup by Ethel Merman. At least she wasn't singing. Impossibly gay horrors???

Anyway, the point is that I woke up with a headache from the bowels of Hell. I got up, pulled on my clothes, had my hair "did" and made a cup of sugar-free oatmeal. ...which promptly came back up. Feeling even worse at this point I had no choice but to call in sick. My goal was to have a lay down and see if I might be able to get it together. I could just skip the whole food thing today. But, kids, I just feel crappy. So, I don't think I'll be making it in to work today.

This sucks on many levels:

1. The Office Manager is on vacation today and I'm feeling so guilty. I should be there to make sure things go as smoothly for the doctors, patients and other dental professionals as possible.

2. Tonight is Ing's Short Attention Span Reading Group Meeting. Now, somehow, despite the fact that I've had a month -- I've yet to read the book. I was planning on reading at least one short story at lunch so that I might not be a total idiot at the reading group. But, I won't be making the reading tonight. So, I'm letting Ing down by not being there to offer my deep insights. Well, ok, maybe not so deep, but I take up space well. But, not tonight. Plus, I needed an Ing-fix today as I've not seen her for a couple of days.

3. There is quite good looking guy who has contacted me. We were going to meet for drinks after the reading group. Not that I'm not looking forward to my date this Saturday night, but a boy has to keep his options open. But, I won't be meeting "T" tonight.

4. And, I'm afraid to try and eat anything. And, well, I don't feel so good. Ugh! Argh! Blah!


Blogger jungle jane said...

Matty isn't it fortunate that today is the day that i need to heal the sick in order to become a saint?

Now i want you to smoke some weed, snort some coke and drink a case of beer. then visualise my face.

Let me know how we go, yeah? i might write a book on my miracle cures...

3:08 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

Warm tea and melba toast....

Actually, on the rare occasion that I fal ill, I eat ochazuki, which is a bowl of sticky rice with green tea dumped on it with furikake....but I'm odd and I'd just stick with the melba toast ;-)

3:34 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Jungle Jane -- I applied to the medical weed place, but they told me that a stomache bug wasn't good enough. And, I'm a legal boy these days! But, I am feeling MUCH better. I give the credit to you, Saint Jungle Jane!

Jon -- You're going to be soooo very proud of me! I had tea and rice!!! ...tho, just instant. I wasn't up to going out. But it stayed down! I know I am feeling better because I am bored out of my mind and want out of the house!!! And, I am missing work. I don't think I've ever missed work before!

5:29 PM  
Blogger joe said...

will me marrying you make you feel better? you can still go on your date, but I thought maybe another marriage proposal might make it all better :)

8:09 PM  
Blogger josh williams said...

was that from "eraser head" the baby? Man made chicken and such? Great sound track to shag to, or so I hear.

8:44 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Oh, Josh -- You've not been properly done or have properly done someone till you do or 'be' done by some lover while Miranda Sex Garden performs the score from ERASERHEAD. Incredibly odd, but neat-0 for sex!!!

Joe -- Oh, how you tease! If you were to marry me I would want no other! Just say the word and I'll trek it over to Canada! If you're the husband, why would I need a date?!?! Sigh.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

Well Matt I think you know that when you want dating advice you should come to me. I advise mum all the time and look how 'active' she is.

I say don't do the date tonight. Vomitting on your date's shoes is not a strategy I recommend.

9:19 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Pixie -- I think that is sage advice! Tossing one's cookies on a date is usually a mistake.

9:53 PM  
Blogger ing said...

If they change their minds about you and that medical weed, remember your friends, Matty, remember your friends. . . That, in combination witht the green tea and the Eraserhead soundtrack -- hot! But is it okay if I visualize Jerry Garcia?

Are you getting married?

I will try to remember to not throw up on any shoes tomorrow, for I have two dates. That means four shoes to keep my stomach contents away from. Can I do it?

11:17 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Ing -- ...with a little help from my friends. I think it fine for you to envision Jerry! Just ask him to tone down on the tie-dye.

Don't get sick on your shoes and you will steal both their hearts. ...but, then you will have to decide!!!

No, I think Joe is just teasing me with his promise of marriage. Sadly. Hot Canadian boys. ...they will play with your heart, but Joe rocks anyway! Icey Blog rules!

6:12 AM  

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