THOUGHTS FROM OCEAN BEACH...


My mind searches for the reason I've ended up here instead of back home doing the laundry and planning out what I should wear for my date tonight. And though an excuse tries to form -- the best my sleepy mind can come up with is something about a mouse, men and plans laid to the best of one's ability. In the end, all the mice, men and plans were unable to defeat me from jumping on the N train and riding out to the beach on this perfect day.

So, sitting on the beach with my toes pushed deep into the sand I let the wind hit my face. Like that odd old song, the wind is hitting me but it feels like a kiss. The sun is attempting to burn across my face, but the warmth feels so nice. The couples are walking along the shore, the surfers are trying to catch the waves for a ride and dogs fetch sticks.

I press play on my iPod and close my eyes. The problems of my life seem to roll out with the waves and tho they try to return to me when the water rolls back again -- they never quite seem to be able to reach me. They roll back out to the ocean with the tide.

I feel good. I feel free. I feel alive. I want to jump up and play with the little puppy that is nipping at my feet, but her owner is in a hurry and wants to get to lunch at The Cliffs. She picks the puppy up and they head toward the restaurant which seems to be waiting for the next earthquake to take it down into the ocean. That is why the new owners invested such little energy into making it more beautiful than it already is. Nothing is will last forever. I want to fly with the kite above my head -- spinning in the wind. No caution. No restrictions -- except those imposed by the string currently being navigated by the impossibly thin boy in the silly pants.

I embrace my knees as my iPod woes me with music that feeds my soul almost as well as this spot on the beach. And, I wonder -- did the members of the band, HAL, have any idea of the simple but deep beauty created by their lyrics when they recorded this song:

"Put your hang-ups in the closet
Put the fears you have in a box
Come on baby, pull up your socks
And sunbeams will shine
They will give you light in the dark
Go get yourself a head start
Cause the radio's beating its tune
with all the crackling through the waves
And there ain't nobody to blame
So keep trying, baby be brave
Don't listen to what they say
Keep going you've come all this way
It's evident, do as you do
Cause you're just so beautiful

Keep love as your golden rule

Keep loving the way you do
Cause that's what those stars are saying
And count your many blessings
And sunbeams will shine
They'll give you light in the dark
Let's get ourselves a head start

Cause the radios beating its tune
All the crackling through the waves
And there ain't nobody to blame
So keep trying, baby be brave
Don't listen to what they say
Keep going you've come all this way
It's evident, do as you do
Cause you're just so beautiful

Keep love as your golden rule
Keep love as your golden rule..."



No sun screen --- time to my shoes back on, catch the train back to Castro and kill time before my date.

And, I sit here at my cafe transcribing my notes from about an hour ago when I was on the beach. My problems are trying to find me again but I am brushing them away for the rest of the day. I wait for my cookie for the day. I wait for a frog to turn to a prince. I wait to win the lottery. I nod in acknowledgment to the cute student who seems to be here more often than me. But, I don't have to wait for love. I've got that. And, really --- isn't that all that matters at the end of the day? If you can't answer "yes" to that -- then you need to get back to the water and suck in some energy. You know the one you need to serve as your golden rule.

iPod Shuffle on my way back from the beach:
"It's All Me" by Holly Golightly (who is awesome! Thanks, Ing!!!!)
"Miss You" by The Stones
"Man Is The Baby" by Antony & The Johnstons
"Shores of California" by The Dresden Dolls
"Far From Home" by Tiga
"Gone to Earth" by Goldfrapp
"Corner Store" by Brazilian Girls
"Sacrifice" by Break 3000

...and, yeah, I'm too lazy to check my spelling or look for type-0's. Be kind.