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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

BEAUTY TIPS FROM THE STARS PART 4: BABS ATTEMPTS TO PUT HER PREGNANCY TO USE

...not that we should all follow the stars and their extreme ways toward perfection, but sometimes it is interesting to contemplate what they toss our way. For instance -- take my fave diva, Barbra Streisand. In the early 70's she demonstrated an odd attempt to hide a pregnancy from her husband and turn it into a beauty enhancement.

uh, oh. the rabbit died. what to do?!?!?

ok, take a deep one and push with all your might...

painful, but that unsightly bulge is gone!

...and, look, something is happening!!!

that bulge has deviated and moved upwards to the region of Barbra's like butta chest...

...and, presto! Barbra has increased her bust significantly!!!!

Oh, embrace and enjoy the natural enhancement of deep pushing...

Work it, Babs!

Shit.

Well, this is a temp measure and the pregnancy soon drops back down leaving Barbra with very little to show for her efforts.

Still, there is always a visit to the father from Different Strokes who can take a feel of Barbra's chest to see if there is anything that can be done...

very, very, very odd cinematic moments. --- and, matty didn't have anything to blog about tonight so he is sharing the warmth of experimental comedy from Barbra circa 1972.

14 Comments:

Blogger ~d said...

( hollerin' at cha via Jungle Jane...measure from underneath, it will add inches. )

6:27 AM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

gAre you SURE she was pregnant? maybe she just had too many pork pies for dinner that night?

7:54 AM  
Blogger ginab said...

too dang funny. too dang funny. too too dang-dang funny-uny.

too dang funny.

that bossom.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

OMG...What has she done to those boops?

Cracks me up...

11:19 AM  
Blogger ing said...

Hey, I'm gonna try that one! Do you think I could do something similar but transfer it all to my lips, rather than to my chesties?

4:47 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

...so THAT's Arnold's mom!!!!

6:28 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

Lol, it's Mr. Drummond! Is that actor still alive?

I'm always amazed by what your mind can produce, Mat! :)

10:52 PM  
Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

Are you Barbra's love child, Aunty Matty??

1:20 AM  
Blogger matty said...

d - Hey! Thanks for the holler! Yes, measuring from underneath would ensure longer inches --- but would that not be a false read?!?!

Jungle Jane - ...hmmmm. Maybe it was pork pies! Pork pie boobies.

Gina - LOL!

Matt - Oh, that wacky Babs! What will she do next?!?!?

Ing -- No, I don't suggest a pregnancy to increase your lip size. Your lips are fine!

Robert! I know! Now, we know why the growth was stunted! "Whatch 'u talkin' 'bout, Willis?!?!?"

Jon -- Oh, flattery will get you everywhere!

Dear Pixie -- No, I like to think of myself as the "Love Child" of Woody Allen and Diane Keaton. Still haven't figured out why they left me on those other people's door step. Sad, isn't it? Oh well.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Me said...

hmmm, you think that would work with ass fat? My friend wants to know. Really.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Karyn said...

Hellooooooooooooooooooooo you've been gone for ages, last we heard you had an amazing date coming up and you're at work possibly not passing out for a whole week - and you have nothing to say??? What gives? Where do you push the bulge if you already have impressive ta tas? Goddamn it Barbra!

6:33 PM  
Blogger Karyn said...

Hellooooooooooooooooooooo you've been gone for ages, last we heard you had an amazing date coming up and you're at work possibly not passing out for a whole week - and you have nothing to say??? What gives? Where do you push the bulge if you already have impressive ta tas? Goddamn it Barbra!

6:34 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Meredith -- I would be worried that the fat in the rear would end up creating tits on the back. Not sure how that would work from a fashion angle, but I suspect that this would be a hit with many straight men.

Karyn -- LOL! I've had a cold. But, things are great. Won't be blogging much about this special dude. Am getting to know him and don't wanna jinx it. But, he is way cool and most cute/hot! Work is going well -- still lovin' it!!!! Really like the folks with whom and for whom I work! So, all is good with the universe. well, for the most part. still dealing with ugly legal thing.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

Say Matt. I read on Parade [LA Times, just a short paragraph] this Sunday that Babs is gonna do a concert tour soon. Have you heard? I read that and I thought of you, of course! :-)

8:27 AM  

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