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Saturday, March 11, 2006


Even if I am still broke, it was nice to sit at my fave cafe armed with iBook, a Diet Coke and a cookie --- knowing I am an employed member of society. Still, how to get to that pay check without selling more sexual favors at the Ferry Building? It is getting harder and harder for me to convince paying customers that I am a skate boy. "No, the gray you see in my hair is intentional! It is, like, a post youth look! It's fucking cool, dude! Hips or lips?"

I so tire of that. But, a guy's gotta do what he's gotta do to survive.

(um, that was a joke. OK? No need to send me concerned emails. I NEVER turn tricks at the Ferry Building! I only work the Polk! Pleeeeeease!!!)

Anyway, I am going to a party tonight. Even tho, I am not really in much of a party mood. My head hurts, I'm sleepy and don't feel fresh and pretty as I normally do -- but the company will be great and my potential life partner could be waiting for me by the dip and bong --- one never knows. Right?

Well, as I sat on the West Portal Outbound platform waiting for the M Train that would bring me home so I could get "gussy'd" up for the party ---- I had to turn off my iPod (shuffling thru the songs of Stevie Nicks) because there were two interesting scenes going down that I had to scribble down in my Hello Kitty notebook! And, here are my notes that show so much that is wrong with humanity.

An irate white guy is pushing his chest into the smaller chest of a smaller (and much younger man of color) --- hey, let me just call it like it was. This was a middle-aged white guy loser who was trying to assert power over a small-framed teenage man of color who was half his size. I've no idea what led to this pathetic exchange of silly male assertion but it was just fucked up.

"Who you callin' nigger?!?!?" screamed the young man
"I call it like I see it, boy!" screamed the man who pushed his chest into the teen's
"You are picking the wrong person to fuck with, asshole!" --- the young man pushed back.
"Let's go, little boy!" the man yelled back.

The two other kids who were with the young man walked forward. One made a move to indicated that he was carrying a gun.

Suddenly the white man backed down. He put his hands up!

"Oh, yeah! You're a sorry fucker now, aren't ya?" the kid yelled actually pushing the big man back a few paces.

The friend kept his hand in his jacket with an evil look on his face.

"Shoot this white motherfucka! Shoot him now, nigger!" the angry young man was wanting for blood.

I don't think his friend actually had a gun. At this point I think the big white guy came to the same realization. Now, these four men were across from me on the InBound platform. Panic was brewing all over West Portal but the attendants in the booth seemed oblivious to all that was going down.

"That's right, motherfucka! We gonna let your white ass off this time but don't fuck with us again or we will take yo ass down, stupid cocksucka!" ...and, with that, the three boys just ran away.

Suddenly the three men who seemed so menacing took on the look of three scared little boys running away to safety. And, the big white man was drenched in sweat and looked so sad to me.

Funny how in an instant people can change. Or, rather, our perspectives of people can change. I wanted to walk around and ask him if he was OK and to tell me what had happened. Why was he trying to pick a fight with a person young enough to be his son? But, I know that his answer would probably just anger me.

My attention was soon pulled back to my side of the tracks.

A cute blind couple had come on the platform. Each with a seeing eye dog. It was cute because they were clearly in love. They were holding hands. They sat on the bench near where I was leaning. They were not wearing those dark glasses you normally notice blind people wearing. I looked down at my shoes to avoid looking at their eyes. Not because I didn't want to look at them or because I was repulsed. But, it just seemed like that would be rude. It is so seldom that one sees a blind person's eyes. I was struck at how I could detect emotion in them. How is that possible? Those eyes don't work but you would know that this man and woman werre in love by a look at their eyes.

I was touched and a bit jealous of what they seemed to share.

I was about to put my notebook back and turn Stevie back on when I heard a little voice ask, "What's wrong with your eyes? They look funny!"

A cute little boy was standing in front of them. The blind woman stopped, turned toward the little boy and said, "Hi there. Well, we are blind. So I guess our eyes move kind funny, huh?"

The little boy just stared.

"Are you still there? What's your name?" The blind woman asked.

The mother of the child was standing not more than a few feet away just watching the exchange. I noticed that the mother had an incredibly ugly expression of disgust on her face as she stared down at the blind couple. Totally unconcerned about the fact that her child had just been rude. Obviously, the little boy did not mean to be rude. He was just a child and curious. But it seemed to me that the mother should have stepped up and introduced her son to the couple and either make an apology of some sort or explain to her son that their eyes are not funny looking or something to that fact.

Instead, the mother just stood there with her arms crossed staring at the couple. It was as if she was passing some sort of judgment.

"Hello? Little boy are you still there?"

"Mommy! Mommy!" ...the little boy was starting to cry.

And, then my heart sunk.

"Honey! I have told you to not talk to strangers! There are too many strange people in this city!" The mother then walked up, took her son's hand and they walked away. How fucking rude. The blind man reached out and touched his girlfriend's head as if to provide some comfort.

I was near by. The mother and little boy had now moved to my left side and were within ear shot of me. I swallowed and spoke up. This is something I normally live to regret, but how could I not say something?!?!?

"Hi, I just saw what happened and I have to compliment you on handling that so beautifully. That little boy's mother is just a bitch. It's so refreshing to see someone not respond in kind as I am now doing for you!"

Luckily, I think my comment worked out. The blind woman laughed, turned toward me and thanked me and then told me that they were used to that. Her boyrfiend then told me that they have talked about getting glasses, but they just figure that it is not their issue if they eyes bother other people.

I told him that I thought they were awesome and had my respect. I added that I would reject glasses just for the fun of pissing off ignorant people like the kid's mother. They both laughed.

The blind woman said, "Well, people. What are you going to do? I think we humans can be pretty shitty most of the time. It sucks.'

...the mother had become very uncomfortable and had walked away down the patform.

The train pulled in. I tuned back into the Stevie Nicks shuffle and hit by the lyrics of this song. I wish I had written them.

"...you think you hear demons
i think we are the demons
in this place where the images are born
you remember your childhood in fiery sequences

the sun goes down
filling the air with colors and winds
that lift you up to god

you fall to your knees
you embrace the storm
you no longer care if it's cold or warm
you live for the danger
like your passion and your anger

you don't let go
you like to be twisted by the force
you like to be shaken by the wind
in this game that you play with god
you've been warned to retreat

you take it to the limit
when the winds come up
crazy men
crazy women
crying out for love
you'd like to save her
but you just can't give it up

you'd rather be wrapped up
in the arms of a storm
crazy men
crazy women
in a storm

and the sun goes down
you're chasing down the demons
you think you hear demons
chasing down those demons
crying out for love..."
Stevie Nicks, The Welsh Witch


Blogger Me said...

You're so sweet. But Matt, I never read a fairy tale once that said anything about Prince Charming being near the dip and the bong. Never.

10:24 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Meredith -- I know your right. But, I keep thinking that he's bound to show up somewhere soon! He better hurry! I'm not getting any younger!

...there was someone near the dip but there were no bongs present. However, the guy by the dip was no Prince Charming.

Still, a fun time!

I saw the perfect man for Ing, tho! Sadly, we all noticed him as we were leaving. Bummer.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Lubin said...

That was the saddest story. It reminds me of that film about s series of unrelated incidents on the New York tube.

Your story also triggered a memory from my childhood. I remember once travelling on a bus years ago, and this 4 year old kid and his Dad were on the seat in front of me, and the kid was asking loads of questions all the time about what sort of things they were passing. It gradually became obvious that the kid was blind and couldn't see any of it, hence all the questions. It really affected me cos the Dad was so patient and the kid was so nice and interested. Anyone who is mean to blind people is pretty low.

4:13 AM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

awwww those blind people sounded so awesome - that story made me sad even though it wasn't sad. i hate shit like that. one ignorant mum bringing up a kid destined to be equally ignorant.

cheers for the blind people not wearing sunglasses - good for them...

4:18 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

Stories like those really choke me up. There's so many shitty things in this world. But, on a different note, I love how Americans call them 'seeing eye dogs' - it's such a .... literal name. We call them 'guide dogs' over here, in case yr interested!

4:51 PM  
Blogger ing said...

My poet-friend, Ken, adopted a great dog who'd flunked out of guide-dog school. I guess you're not supposed to pet guide dogs when they're on duty. It's so hard not to!

And I never thought about this until now, but it's true -- the blind only wear glasses for the seeing person. Matty, did you ever see A Patch of Blue?

10:34 AM  
Blogger matty said...

A PATCH OF BLUE!!! Shelley Winters being mean! Always up for that! ...but, no, that was a great film.

7:32 PM  
Blogger joe said...

sometimes we can see so much and yet are so blind. good for you to speak up.

9:39 PM  

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