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Friday, February 07, 2003

Snow and Torture --- An Update

Am still in pain, but not nearly so bad. I think I almost OD'd with my pain killers. Much of the evening is sort of a blur from which I am now awaking. Satan, I mean my dentist, instructed me to rinse with a prescription mouthwash tonight. I was warned it would sting a bit. I now understand that this means I will soon experience a pain so deep I may need several of doses of morphine to stifle my screams

A Quick Meditation on My Life Thus Far...

I was just thinking about all those exciting plans I had when I left Texas to come up east. I was going to conquer the world! I was going to lead the proper gay man's life ---- do it all and do it all in style. Somewhere between 1991 and 1993 reality began to set in and I realized that I didn't need all of that. I guess I started to realize what really mattered to me in life -- and none of that had much to do with dominating the planet or living up to any standards other than my own.

I know that I tend to over-analyze everything and it seems that I am never satisfied, but this really isn't true. I've been so very blessed. I have fallen permanently in love with a great man and we have built a life that continues to evolve in a great way. I have fantastic friends, a great family, am able to live my life as an openly gay man with no apologies and have a job that challenges me (tho, I think I am prone to whine about it way too much!) Despite all my fretting ---- when all is said and done --- I am quite pleased with the life I am leading. This will come as quite a shock to Karl and would certainly surprise my therapist --- but it is true.

My Dull and Rather Sad Gay Dreams...

Last night I had a dream that seemed to play on through my entire slumber. I dreamed that Babs Streisand's "A Star Is Born" was finally released in DVD format. In the dream I watched a pristine and expertly letter-boxed version of the movie on our tv. I was really enjoying the movie and was so happy to have it on DVD. That was my dream. That is it. I have essentially explained the entire dream to you.

Some people dream of being in the movies, some dream of meeting their fave diva, some dream of flying through orbits unknown to human eyes --- and others dream of erotic adventures that will stay with them for days. Me? I dream about watching Barbra Streisand movies that I've already seen 30 times before in my waking hours.

Tonight I have hopes of seeing "Yentl" on DVD. ...in my dreams.


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