CONFESSIONS OF A NAKED JEWISH JOCK IN A AN ORANGE JOCK STRAP

Well kids, my adventure into the world of posing nude for artistes came to a crashing halt this afternoon. Now, the artiste/photographer reads my blog and I hope this doesn't offend him, but I warned him I would be writing about my experience. Let's call him "Billy"

First of all, Billy was not being very honest. His "studio" turned out to be a perfectly cute girlish apartment in the Castro. Now, Billy isn't "girlish" (not that I would care if he were a big ol' girl, but he isn't) --- you see aside from this not being a studio it is also not his apartment. Billy is visiting his sister. Billy is a college student who lives in San Diego. Turns out he had asked about 5 guys in San Francisco to pose for his project. I was one of those 5 guys. I was also the third to refuse to pose for him. Tho, I was a bit annoyed about "the studio" I hadn't quite decided I was "done" but then he handed me an unopened package containing an orange jock strap much like the one pictured above. It made me laugh. Billy was not amused but seemed to decide to ignore my laughter. I couldn't help it and asked if I got to keep the strap. He was surprisingly quick with his answer of "No!" --- "But, Billy, what are you going to do with it after I've worn it?" ...Honestly he didn't answer. I didn't open the package.

Billy then explained his "vision" --- so the idea was that I would wear only the orange jock strap and my white socks, he would wet and comb my hair down and I would pose on the green futon with a basket ball.

"Basket ball?"

Yes, he confirmed that I would be holding an object associated with sports. Ewwwwwwww!!!!

I held the package of the tacky jock strap that would never be mine and just listened on ---

It seems the next plan was to get my to get a hard on which I would then pop out of the offensive supporter and place the basket ball between my knees and he would photograph from all angles. I could not stop laughing. This time he seemed to be getting a little pissy. Billy then explained that he had found a menorah which he wanted to sit on the little table by the futon where the daisy decorated lamp now sat.

"Why?"

Billy then explained that his "vision" was that I was the hot Jewish jock in a jock strap. I was determined to stop laughing. I asked Billy if he even knew what a menorah was and what it meant. He just stared at me in what I think was artistic frustration. I told him that aside from feeling really stupid I felt that this concept was inherently racist and I didn't want to be a part of it.

Billy got defensive and told me that there was nothing racist about it and why was I ashamed of my heritage. I put the package containing the orange jock strap which I really wanted to just steal down on the coffee table. I explained to Billy that were it my heritage I would be very proud but that I wasn't Jewish but then quickly added that this didn't matter anyway. People are so funny because his first comment was that I was Jewish because my last name is Jewish. I had to explain that my last name was "Stanfield" not "Stanfeld" but that I was done and leaving.

Billy then eased up a bit and told me that he had come to visit his sister in hopes of getting some cooler guys to pose for his school project but I was the third person to be offended by his concepts. I felt kind of bad for him, but then not all at once. I asked him if he wanted to take some normal shots that I could use for my blog since I had given up my afternoon to pose for him. He had the nerve to say no. But before I could say anything he handed me this cheap but kind of cute little bracelet that his sister had made.

He told me that he had gotten her to make one for all 5 of the guys. I've very thin wrists and it is way too big but I guess I could cut it down. LOL!

I fought the urge to grab the jock strap and run. I wished him luck. Took my little bracelet and left. Billy is still a kid. I believe he is 22, but I was still annoyed. So, that was my big nude posing adventure. Before I left he showed me pix of the other 4 guys on the screen of his Mac. ...And, this is not fishing, but I was kind of flattered. I would have never grouped myself with those 4 guys who all looked to be half my age and much more gym-bunny like.

But, dammit --- I wanted that orange jock strap!