RACE RELATIONS & PRETZEL SAMPLES



I had a difficult day at work. It happens. So, I decided to treat myself to the Food Court. ...stop making fun of me. I'm on a budget. Anyway, after I ate half of what I was served and drank a child's size Diet Coke (am quitting caf) I got up to leave and thought, "Hey, I deserve a real treat tonight!"

I allow myself one cookie a day and I normally enjoy my cookie sometime between 8 and 9 in the evening. However, tonight I decided I would have a half of one of those sugar-covered pretzels ---- AND a medium Diet Coke. I walked in and was greeted by a very happy older lady behind the counter. I placed my order. As she soaked the giant pretzel into a vat full of some oil-like substance which allows her to dip/roll my pretzel in sugar I noticed a large bowl of pretzels pieces which were serving as samples of all their various types of pretzel delights.

I heard some loud/obnoxious laughing and was pushed to the side while a group of cute pre-teen girls grabbed as many of the samples as possible and then ran out. One of them calling out, "Free pretzels!" Without even thinking I shrugged and sort of laughed. Whatever. But the nice older lady suddenly got a very angry look on her face. She walked back to the counter, my giant pretzel in hand, and asked "Are you OK?" I laughed and said I was fine and made some comment along the lines of 'o-those-crazy-kids' and the older pretzel lady leaned in to me and said --

"I am not racist, but ---"

OK, whenever someone says the "but" word in this context you know you're in for a contradiction or a de-confirmation of what they said before entering the "but" word. I particularly hate the use of "but" when mixed with words like "love" "care" "homophobic" "friend" or "racist"

"....but, it is ALWAYS the black ones who do that sort of thing!" (she said this in a sort of hushed but rushed way) --- then added, "I've told my boss it is all I can to not throw the plate at their tacky, nappy heads!"

At this point I should let you know that the older pretzel lady is a person of color.

If you've not already figured it out, I have trouble controling my mouth. Now, I seldom lose my cool. I never raise my voice and it takes a lot to make me mad at all. But, when something strikes me as being wrong, unfair or mean --- I have trouble not speaking out about it. ...and tonight, as I took my pretzel from the angry older lady behind the counter was no exception.

So, without any hesitation or thought I said, "I am not trying to upset you, but that is racist."

"I am a black woman! How can I be a racist!! And, child I did not march with my friends in the 60's for little assholes like that to act the rude fool!"

"That is so cool that you marched! I agree, but anger and intolerance isn't the answer. And, you know, racism surfaces on all levels. I don't mean to imply you're a bad person. I think we are all a bit racist. It's sad, but I think it is true. Anyone who tells you they aren't at all racist are not being totally honest with themselves or you. I am a uber-liberal yet I am sure I have racist attitudes that I don't even realize. I hate that, but I am sure I do. We all do. When I catch it in myself thinking I do my best to stop it."

"Well, the white, mexican and asian kids don't do that sort of shit when they come in here!"

"But, just to so easily associate a generalization like that to ethnic background or skin color is inherently racist. Even if you feel it to be true, you have to see that. And, these kids are our future. And, they are just kids -- if what they do bothers you maybe you should try to deal with it using humor. Call back to them and tell them to enjoy the free pretzels. Next time they come in try talking to them. You never know, you could make a difference. Personally, I don't think what they did had anything to do with the color of their skin. I think they enjoy getting a reaction out of you. They are just kids out being loud and having fun. And, I find it hard to believe you've never seen a white or asian kid not do something similar."

"Well, maybe you're right. You sound like my grandbaby. She goes to school in San Diego. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"You didn't offend me, but that was racist. You and I need to do whatever we can to get people to treat each other with respect and dignity. Equality --- that's why you were marching, right? Kids love to rebel -- regardless of race. And, you know, life is too damn short to let some cute little girls being silly get you upset. And, for the record, I thought they were adorable --- and, they had great hair!"

The older lady laughed and asked me what uber-liberal meant. I told her. She laughed again and told me to have a great night.

I ate half my pretzel as I walked home. Tossed the other half into a garbage can and finished off my "healthy" soda. And, I wondered to myself, "Why did I just do that?"

I came home and jotted down the conversation and now transcribe it for your reading "pleasure"

...all I wanted was a sugar-coated pretzel and a giant tub of Diet Coke. I never meant to preach to an over-worked and under paid senior citizen who has been dealing with the public all day. iBook in my lap and a cup of hot tea near by, Elton John is singing about Mars being a bad place to raise kids and tomorrow is Friday!