THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE ON THE ELEVATOR...
The morning was moving slow at the big gay front desk. So, I decided to run up some paperwork to another doctor's office on one of the higher floors. I work in a rather tall building to San Francisco standards.

There was a loud conversation going on in the elevator as I walked in. Two cute men. One tall, lanky and about as white as a person can get. The other was short, curved and Asian. The tall guy was gesturing with his hands and essentially yelling at his friend --- who stood sort of smiling and nodding his head. There was a look of panic and confusion in the eyes of the short man.

As soon as I got back to my desk I pulled out my handy Hello Kitty memo pad and recorded what I had heard --- and, what had happened. This was definitely a case of a language barrier on the rise.

"...I am trying to tell you that it is just hard for me! Do you understand what I am saying?!?!?!?"

Short man just looks confused but sort of happy. He nods.

"Look. Try not to take it so badly. It is just it has been a long time since I shared my home and bed with anyone. I am really into you but it is just odd to have a warm body holding on to mine after so many years of being alone!"

Short man nods. I try not to look at them, but it is hard to not watch this odd situation unfold to my right as we go up and up. The tall man is really yelling now.

"IT IS HARD TO SHARE A BED! I LIKE YOU! BUT IT IS STRANGE TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE AFTER SO MANY YEARS OF BEING ALONE."

"You want me go bye now?" ...the short man looks so worried and afraid.

OK, I am watching them now. I can't seem to help it.

"NO! BABY, WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!"

The elevator stops and a nurse joins us on our ride. There is a repeat of the conversation again but louder. The nurse is watching even more obviously than me.

"Excuse me," she interrupts this comical conversation. "But, you know, yelling is not going to help him understand you."

"SHUT UP! WHO ASKED YOU!?!?"

The elevator stops. The nurse rushes out. I think about rushing out with her, but it was just too damn interesting.

"Hey," Oh shit. The tall guy is speaking to me.

"Do you speak Chinese?"

"I think you mean mandarin or Cantonese, but no. I can only barely speak English."

The elevator stops. The doors open. I am at my floor of destination.

"Yeah. Me too. It is so fucking difficult when you can't speak the same language as your lover!"

"Yeah. That must be tough."

I step out of the elevator and wonder if the tall guy will ever get the short guy to understand the intimacy issue. Conversations on an elevator. Who knew??!??