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Tuesday, February 07, 2006


Dating is not much fun. Never was and never will be, really. However, it is far worse as you edge up to 40 living in San Francisco.

I've met some really cool guys as of late. And there are a few I've not yet actually met, but look forward to meeting. There is (or was) this one fellow with whom I've emailed quite a bit and we've chatted on the phone a couple of times. Seemingly nice/cool guy. We made tentaive plans for later this weekend. ...for dinner.

He left me a voicemail last night that kind of threw me off. It was a nice voicemail. Spoke of looking forward to finally sitting down and meeting. Sweet, warm voice. Then, just before he hung up he says, "Oh, and pack a toothbrush because I am going to f**k you. You'll love it and I always get what I want. I can't wait."

blank stare at the cell phone.

Where did that come from? Is that the same guy I've been talking with?!?!? Just the fact that he just bluntly states something like that and then tells me he always gets what he wants. How charming! Loser.

I turned to my pal, Thomas of KUNG-FU KITTEN fame and he gave me the following advice:

"...I worry about people who end voicemails with comments about f**king me. My ass does not appreciate the implications and neither do I for the most part. ...call him and tell him that he can't have your ass. It's too precious. Like a Hummel figurine. The ones with the big eyes and the little tiny mouths, with the abnormally large heads. Yes, that is your ass, treasure it. He sounds like an ass collector anyway. And you don'’t want to be collected, do you? Well, of course not." I feel that this is sound advice and I shall follow it. I will be canceling the dinner date. The creep factor is just too high.

Dating. Keeps life interesting.


Blogger Dessie said...

Oh. My. God.

You didn't tell him you were a top when you met him?

Just kidding xx

10:17 AM  
Blogger matty said...

Dessie - No, that was what made it all the more strange. There had not even been any flirting. I was even wondering if it would a friend thing and then WHAM --- he said that.

...welcome to my world.

10:39 AM  
Blogger digitic said...

I'm so done with encountering idiots like that (you know how I feel, Matt).

I would not be so genteel in telling him where he could go and who he could screw (and it would involve both his parents).

What a frikkin social moron -- raised by wolves.

My blood is boiling now ... grrrr!

10:39 AM  
Blogger ginab said...

Well, sounds like dating for 40-somewhatevers in SF is no different from where I live.

I'm thrilled.

And yes, I'm afraid, cancel dins.

12:11 PM  
Blogger matty said...

Milford -- Oh, all one can do is laugh! Life's too short. He's just a loser.

Gina -- And, yes -- dinner has been canceled!

...dating just sucks the world over when one is pushing 40 or over. Tho, I think I may have hated dating when I was in my 20's, too. But, boy. Sure seems like I do a lot of it.

Somewhere, somehow true love waits. (i think)

1:16 PM  
Blogger ing said...

Ugh! I'm glad you cancelled. I guess he thinks he's so sexy and charming he can say whatever he likes. What a pig!

Sheesh, nothing like that has ever happened to me. . . how weird.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Trashbinder said...

You've done the right thing, trust me. Total empathy on that score.

You're a looker, someone else will come along...

2:27 PM  
Blogger Elaine said...

As a true gentleman yourself, you should hold out for someone with better manners.

Not that it's not flattering that someone finds you attractive, but it should never be a 'done deal' when it comes to early date seduction.

Hold onto your penny for someone who deserves it, as my Grandmother used to say.

2:30 PM  
Blogger matty said...

ing -- I often seem to be a magnet for the strange. I don't know why. I am perfectly normal.

Trashbinder - I am blushing. Thanks!

Elaine -- Thanks you! You are fabulous!

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude. If someone said that to me before I even went on the date, I'd kick him in the nuts.

And I should be open to dating WHY again? Gah. No. Spinsterhood is just fine.

6:40 PM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

well if you were offended then it's offensive - what he said was clearly not appropriate or funny to you personally so i you can only follow your gut feeling and do what's right for you.

i've never had that happen to me either but i suspect that's because most blokes are utterly terrified of me...

8:04 PM  
Blogger g8s said...

Hmm... Why would he have to tell you he was going to f**k you beforehand? As if you wouldn't know what he was doing?

12:03 AM  
Blogger Karyn said...

Huh. A Hummel? I never saw that coming. So to speak.

Yes, the dating pool needs lifeguards...and chlorine...

You're a gem, Matt, someday you will find someone who is the perfect fit. I wish it had been You Know Who but oh well. *hugs*

8:53 AM  
Blogger Tim said...

Ooh, that little figurine is so cute! Doesn't look anything like you ass though, I'd imagine ....

5:26 PM  

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