Thoughts From a Fat Man

I can remember looking at those middle aged men with their thin legs and pot bellies and thinking to myself, "That will never happen to me"

I was wrong.

But you know what? At this very moment in time, in my life as it is at this second -- I don't really care. Be it wrong or sick --- a Mounds bar with a jug of sugar-filled soda means more to me than having a thin body. That is the bottom line. In fact, for the time being I think I shall subscribe to the Margaret Cho "Fuck It Diet" --- that works for me.

However, then I see my best friend who works her ass off to have a killer body. It gives her a sense of accomplishment. She attempts to give me a pep talk about the benefits of exercise. I see her level of commitment, but it does not move me into action. I know she is right, but it really does not matter to me at this time.

Then, I see my pal, Jen, who used to complain to me that needed to lose weight. I would roll my eyes because I thought she looked fine. In fact, I had trouble imagining her any thinner. Then life threw a major curve ball her way. She was forced into a fight for her life against cancer. She kicked cancer's ass! Thank God! After tossing cancer out of the ring --- she began to walk and eat sensibly. She has lost a lot of weight and she looks fucking awesome.

And, then, there are two male co-workers who recently decided to lose their "tires" and they are looking quite good. I don't even want to stand next to them anymore.

...And, for a minute, I think I want to get this neglected body back into shape. I know I will feel better about myself and I also know that it will help me to better deal with the turbulence going on in my life. Then, I see the Mounds bar. And I see the jug of sugar-filled soda. I grab both, sulk into the sofa and escape.

This will change. I will get back in shape. I will get my head together. I will figure everything out. I will end my stint on the Margaret Cho Fuck It Diet. ...But not right now. I want to pig out and unwind. Which is what I am doing tonight.

If you have not yet read Jon's rant, please do. It is so funny and there are so many truths to be found in it! I laughed so hard I cried! I also enjoyed the fact that he managed to include something to offend just about everyone! He rules!