Shame!

I think THIS could be the funniest movie to come out in years. I am dying to see it. If you have not yet seen the trailer being shown in selected theatres, you have to check it out on the site!

It is the Little Things

Not to be a downer, but it seems like I am having trouble with so many things as of late. And, now, there has been an unexpected challenge come my way at work that I am really not sure I want to accept. However, I do not really have a choice.

So, there are a couple of materialistic things headed my way which are making me happy. Granted, they are small pleasures but I am really excited about them. First of all Bjork's new CD comes out tomorrow. I am sure that many of you roll your eyes at that, but I love Bjork and am all excited. Plus there is a new DVD about her new CD which should be quite different. Also two incredible films are finding their way to DVD! "The Forbidden Zone" comes out tomorrow! I am all excited! The little fellow from "Fantasy Island" in a warped musical from the brother of Danny Elfman! If you have not seen it --- or even heard of it --- and you enjoy the twisted and strange --- you must seek this DVD out! And, from the vaults of horror --- "Lemora" comes out on DVD tomorrow!!! Now, my father took me to see this flick when I was very little and I have never been able to get some of it out of my head. So, I am most excited at the prospect of seeing it with the more appropriate eyes of an adult. We saw it at the drive in and it was very creepy.

So, those are the little things that will help me get thru this week. ...which is turning out to be quite trying. Well, what else it new? I do have a 4 day weekend coming up, but it starts off with a 3 hour root canal procedure that promises to be horrible. ...and I have had a lot of root canals -- normally doesn't bother me that much --- but I guess this tooth is going to be a lot of fun to save!

I would like to fast forward to Christmas. At least I will be pleased with the weather. Well, I take that back! I want to fast forward to the middle of September when I will be going to NYC for a few days to chill! In addition to checking on my brother, I hope to meet a couple of fellow bloggers and I might just take in a show or two. ...or, I might just stay in my room and enjoy room service! ...then I wanna fast forward to Christmas!

Well, I am off for a business dinner -- which might be fun. However, it could go either way. Stay tuned!!

Take A Look!

Karl taught me how to set up my own on-line photo album! Click HERE to check it out! Now, I must hurry over to the sofa to watch the newly-released cinematic classic, CHASTITY -- starring Cher under the writing and film direction talents of her then hippie husband, Sonny!

quick update

OK, I was wrong. Sonny just wrote and produced this horrible movie. However, Karl and I were both shocked to discover what appears to be a quick nude scene of Cher getting out of a tub!!! Tits and ass! Is it really her or a body double????? If there is one person who might know the answer to this important question, it would be Lubin!!

Lubin -- are you out there? Do you know? Did Sonny let Cher do a nude scene in his 1970 R-rated movie?????

The Puppy Exorcist: The Heretic

It is just too hot to leave the safety of our air-conditioned condo. The only place to be, if you are outside, is the beach or a pool. We do not have access to either at this time. So, we have been spending quality time with our cute little puppy, Dusty. However, there seems to be a problem.

It started out with Dusty seeming more aggressive than usual. She was playing with her squeaky PTown lobster toy in a particular menancing manner. At one point, we thought we saw the toy move by itself! But, we were not sure. Last night, I thought I heard an odd creaking noise from her doggie cage. ...And she was sleeping in my lap.

This afternoon she has been making odd and creepy noises. And, when she does bark --- it is an a bark unlike her own. Dusty is also sleeping on her back and when I looked at her only a few minutes ago ---- her eyes had rolled into her head. She turned her cute little puppy head towards us and her eyes were white spheres!

Oh, my God! I think she is about to levitate!

People of the blogging community! My puppy is possessed by Pazuzu --- The devil!

...just thought I would share.

Thoughts From a Fat Man

I can remember looking at those middle aged men with their thin legs and pot bellies and thinking to myself, "That will never happen to me"

I was wrong.

But you know what? At this very moment in time, in my life as it is at this second -- I don't really care. Be it wrong or sick --- a Mounds bar with a jug of sugar-filled soda means more to me than having a thin body. That is the bottom line. In fact, for the time being I think I shall subscribe to the Margaret Cho "Fuck It Diet" --- that works for me.

However, then I see my best friend who works her ass off to have a killer body. It gives her a sense of accomplishment. She attempts to give me a pep talk about the benefits of exercise. I see her level of commitment, but it does not move me into action. I know she is right, but it really does not matter to me at this time.

Then, I see my pal, Jen, who used to complain to me that needed to lose weight. I would roll my eyes because I thought she looked fine. In fact, I had trouble imagining her any thinner. Then life threw a major curve ball her way. She was forced into a fight for her life against cancer. She kicked cancer's ass! Thank God! After tossing cancer out of the ring --- she began to walk and eat sensibly. She has lost a lot of weight and she looks fucking awesome.

And, then, there are two male co-workers who recently decided to lose their "tires" and they are looking quite good. I don't even want to stand next to them anymore.

...And, for a minute, I think I want to get this neglected body back into shape. I know I will feel better about myself and I also know that it will help me to better deal with the turbulence going on in my life. Then, I see the Mounds bar. And I see the jug of sugar-filled soda. I grab both, sulk into the sofa and escape.

This will change. I will get back in shape. I will get my head together. I will figure everything out. I will end my stint on the Margaret Cho Fuck It Diet. ...But not right now. I want to pig out and unwind. Which is what I am doing tonight.

If you have not yet read Jon's rant, please do. It is so funny and there are so many truths to be found in it! I laughed so hard I cried! I also enjoyed the fact that he managed to include something to offend just about everyone! He rules!

Dental Woes, Image Projection Issues and the Fine Art of Communication

Well, I like to think of myself as an expert communicator --- but my attempts at communicating with my dentist failed in a very bad way. First of all, my normal dentist --- for those of you who might remember that would be the dentist that likes to feel me up as he works, was out today. So another dentist met with me. She told me that the tooth which had been capped was dead, had calcified (I do not know what that means) and would require a 3 hour root canal procedure which will be quite difficult because it is quite challenging to find the roots in a calcified dead tooth. Fun.

I objected and advised the doctor to simply extract the tooth as it is so far back I can't see it anyway. I then added that I didn't feel like paying a mint to crown/cap a tooth that no one can see. She then walked me through some medical jargon that lost me. I told her I wanted the tooth pulled.

She stared at me for a moment and we had the following exchange of communication:

Dentist: You need this tooth.

Matt: I do not want it. It is dead.

Dentist: Do you have a degree?

Matt: Yes

Dentist: What was your major?

Matt: English Literature

Dentist: I tell you what, the next time I have a question about Shakespeare I will defer to you, but when it comes to dental issues I would suggest you take my advice.

Matt: Are you upset?

Dentist: I do not ever plan on treating you again. I will not pull the tooth. If you do not have the root canal a very bad infection will set in and I will not be interested in responding to your page at 3 in the morning when you are in agony.

Matt: Don't get so twitchy. I will take the root canal.

(tension filled the room)

This dentist hated me, and yet, I liked her. Hmmmm...

I then had to stop by CVS to drop off a prescription. I was in a hurry to get back to the office so I was walking quickly. A well-dressed woman holding some sort of container stepped infront of me and we had the following exchange of communication:

Rich Lady: Why is Tide so expensive?

Matt: What?

Rich Lady: Why is Tide so expensive?

Matt: I don't know.

Rich Lady: The CVS brand is $3 dollars cheaper!

Matt: Maybe you should purchase the CVS brand.

Rich Lady: (angered) YOU ARE NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTION!

Matt: (completely confused) Why should I?

Rich Lady: WELL, YOU ARE THE MANAGER!

Matt: No. I am not.

Rich Lady: (rolling eyes) Oh. Well, you looked important so I assumed you were the manager.

She then walked away leaving a trail of expensive perfume in the air. I had looked important, but no longer was I. I guess.

To re-cap -- I have to have a root canal from Hell, I project the image of a drug store manager and I waste time having conversations that just upset people.

This isn't my month.

Fallen Tooth

If you have looked at Karl's blog you know that he, me and Dusty had a rough time last night. I think I can safely say that I was wrong for years. I used to secretly roll my eyes when I would hear or read about a breaking heart. I didn't believe it was a valid or real feeling. Well, I have to say that the only way I can describe my feelings from last night and today would be to say that it felt like my heart was breaking.

Like Karl, I do not cry. This afternoon, I took the last 3 hours of the day off as vacation so I could just pull my thoughts together before our therapy session tonight. I came home and ended up sitting with Dusty in the bedroom crying and talking to my puppy ---- who nuzzled her head on to my shoulder and licking my tears all the while. Now, after therapy, we are still in limbo - but I left the therapy session feeling more hopeful.

We both want to work thru this mess. We have to --- for Dusty. That is not really funny -- but I don't want to bum anyone reading this out. I've been leaning on several of you and will continue to need a cyber shoulder sometimes. I thank you guys and treasure your thoughts.

Oh, and while I was chatting with a new employee who I was about to take to lunch this afternoon --- one of my teeth fell out. Well, the cap on one of my teeth fell out. Luckily I didn't swallow it or anything. No, it just fell out of my mouth as I was talking to a new employee. I have a way of making a strong impression. ...The look on her face was really priceless -- a combination of disgust, confusion and the urge to laugh. The poor thing did not know what to do.

...Welcome to my world. Actually, it could be a hell of a lot worse. I know 5 people who have fought and survived thru some very serious diseases. I try to use that as a way to keep my problems in focus. However, the problem is it is hard to keep in perspective when it is happening to you. It is easier to intellectualize appropriate perspective than to put it to use.

Breaking hearts hurt and it does not help when your tooth falls out to boot.

Re-Discoverving Pizzicato Five and The Plastics!

I have a Japanese import by Pizzicato Five which appears to be a two CD set of singles. I couldn't quite tell because the tracking list is in a language I do not understand. However, I know all of the songs and love the collection. I am fairly sure that a couple of the tunes are performed in Japanese and I am used to hearing them sung in English on the Matador label. I might not be spelling the American label correctly. Anyway, I am most pleased!

Does anyone out there remember The Plastics? They were a Japanese band from the late 70's and early 80's. I only ever saw them perform once and it was on SCTV. I loved them and had their vinyl EP. I found an import collection of their hits. Much fun!

Work sucked today and I did not get to leave until late, but my hope is that tomorrow will be better.

Kisses from Boston,
matt

Granny Porn

Apparently, we are stuck in some cyber porn cycle from Hell. So, when we turn on the internet some horrid bit of heterosexual porn pops up on the screen. And, I am sorry --- but straight porn is sick! What are my heterosexual brothers and sisters watching to get themselves off??? One site that popped up and it was called "Granny Porn" !?!?! I will not go into detail but she was doing things that most 70 year old women could never do and she was sporting a very cheap pearl necklace. ...If you know what I mean. Right now, there is a site that will not go away called, "Do my Wife" ---- who is really unattractive, by the way. Anyway, if anyone knows how we can get out of this gross cycle, please let me know. Or --- if you know how we can switch over to gay porn cycle --- please let me know.

Well, today was my first day without my assistant. It was rough. I took a taxi to the hospital to check on her and to meet her sweet little baby. He is soooo cute. And, I am not a baby person. He is 19 inches long and weighs 6.4 pounds. He is tiny and perfect! So cute! Her other two boys were there ---- I had picked up toys for each of them because I think it must be hard for a 6 year old and a 3 year old to adjust to a baby getting all of the attention. All three of her children are just dolls! And she looked great. So, just three more months for me to get thru till she returns.

oh no, what am i going to do? i am helpless without my assistant!!!!

Dedicated ---- Beyond Belief

My administrative assistant just had her baby. She called me on her cell phone approx. 15 minutes after giving birth. I just chatted with her while she, the beautiful baby and her hubby sat in the delivery room. She was very happy, but wanted to make sure I was ready for work tomorrow. I had run into her and her family this afternoon at Dim Sum ---- walking up three flights of stairs! Anyway, mom and baby are doing fine! I can't wait till I get to visit her tomorrow and see the baby boy!

Oh my God. It is really sinking in that I am going to be working with out my assistant for the next 3 months. Oh boy. You would never believe how closely I work with my assistant and how heavily I rely upon my her. Well, if Jen is reading this she will understand.

However, I am just so happy that she and the baby are OK! Am all excited for her! Tho, I still think it odd that I was the first person she phoned after she had the baby. ????? Dedication.

Dusty's Up-Town Doggie Collar!

I forgot to mention the fabulous gift Chris brought for Dusty! He got her a gorgeous little pink leather collar with tiny red hearts! ...by COACH! Ms. Dusty is da bomb in her new little collar!

Gap of Generation

We are enjoying Chris' visit. He is much fun. It is too bad that his partner, John, couldn't have joined us as well. Chris and Karl are out exploring high end shopping --- I think they also went to the MFA which I just wasn't in the mood for so I went to the movies.

I saw GARDEN STATE. It was a good film. It had something to say and it left the viewer with a feeling of hope. However, I realized that my feelings toward it must be like the feelings that 30 somethings must of had at the time movies like BREAKFAST CLUB and PRETTY IN PINK were released. Though, I was able to empathize, I was not able to relate or believe the characters. Everything was resolved too simply and so much of what I think the other (much younger) folks in the audience thought was an original film was really quite derivative. Also, how many movies have we heard that tired old line of "I know I love you because when I am with you I feel like I am at home" ...I kind think of at least 10 right now. So, I have to say --- this was a good film, but I think it is a film made for a specific generation. I would think the 16 to 24-ish crowd. Tho, the characters were all 26. They didn't really act like 26 year olds. ...at least not the ones I know.

However, much to my surprise, Lowes actually showed an NC-17 trailer for the new John Water's film. And, I just to have to say that, no matter how many times I see it, the image of Tracey Ulmann doing the Hokey Pokey with a group of senior citizens --- and then, much to the horror of the seniors, she does something quite obscene with a large water bottle --- will ALWAYS make me laugh to the point of tears. This made the price of admission worth it.

So, I was thinking --- they say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But, I think the real truth here is that it doesn't really make you stronger --- you just manage to live through it and go on. Sometimes life just dumps so much shit. But just as Gloria sang on a warm summer night ---- I WILL survive!

"Yes, but is it Art?"

The gallery called me this afternoon and made one nice thing happen for me this week --- my Jack Pierson Nude Boy on Plate was framed and ready for me to pick up! Yay! And, for the record, it is not me on the plate. I am stating that just in case my mother has told everyone in the Golden Triangle Area of southeast Texas that her son is posing nude for plates. Oi! Anyway, it is framed in a lovely shadow box. I guess it is the most valuable thing we own outside of our electronic equipment. Hmmmm...

By the way, I am sorry if my posting from yesterday upset some of you or worried you. I am OK. Dealing with something right now that I am finding a bit difficult. However, I am dealing with it. It will probably make me stronger and it may even turn out to be a very positive thing for all concerned. I just felt so down about it all last night. And, I figure blogs are meant for me to whine when I need to.

Toddy -- all is ok. No need to worry about me. Thanks for checking, tho.

Our friend, Chris, arrives tomorrow. Actually, I have never met him. I have emailed with him a bit and Karl has met him. So, I feel like I know him. I am looking forward to his visit. I am just concerned that Karl has Chris' expectations far too high. Chris is from DC. Which is a lot like Boston only with more crime but cleaner and more user-friendly subways. I found the Dupont Circle area to almost be a duplicate of our South End.

Anyway, Karl has a large number of plans for us this weekend. It should be fun. I get to join them for dinner tomorrow, but I am then on Dusty duty while Karl and Chris hit the Boston leather bar scene. My chaps and leather cock ring are in for a polishing anyway --- so I might as well stay home and play with the puppy.

Where You Lead

...I will follow any where that you tell me to --
if you need me to be with you,
I will follow where you lead...

I always thought that Carole King's song was so romantic and true.

I have been thinking about this song a lot today. I wonder if maybe it isn't a bit co-dependent. How healthy is it to blindly follow your lover where ever he or she leads or wants to go?

What if you really do not want to go there?

Love can lead you in all sorts of directions. How do you know when you need to stop following? How do you know where to go? Which path do you take?

Even though you know that the idea of the white picket fence is fantasy, I think we all secretly want it and that can screw us all up.

I guess that, no matter how well they may be crafted, the promises of pop songs will let you down every time. No matter how you slice it --- love is never as soft as an easy chair. ...birds may be able to fly over the rainbow --- but not you.

Someone should have explained that to Judy. Actually, someone should have explained that to me.

So, How's My Hair?

I tried a new pomade this morning.

I need to admit that I was wrong about something. That something being Nina Simone. Our pal, Chris, who is coming up for a visit this weekend made a couple of way cool CD comps for Karl. It was cool to discover that we share much the same taste in music. And, then, Karl said "Listen to this one!" ...It was Nina Simone.

Ms. Simone's voice always annoyed me, but I listened and picked up on a certain quality I had not noticed before. That song stuck in my head. Yesterday I purchased a new compilation of her work for $7.99 at Newbury Comix. I actually like her stuff. What was I thinking before? However, I have to say that it just makes me laugh when she belts out, "...They call me Peaches!!!" ...What the hell is that all about anyway????

A Changed Demographic

I had to work late tonight so I only just got home a little while ago. I forgot that Prince is performing next door at the Fleet Center tonight. As I pushed my way through the throng of eager Prince fans I began to note the people that The Purple One is attracting these days. It looks to me as if the basic Prince fan is white, aged between 30 and 50 and just not the sort of person I envision forking over money to see Prince. It suddenly hit me ---- his demographic hasn't changed. It just got older.

I then realized that I was once a Prince fan sneaking in to see Purple Rain. However, I am no longer a member of his demographic. Since he rediscovered his religion he can no longer accept homosexuality. He refused to allow Wendy to rejoin his band for this tour unless she would give herself to the Lord and leave her evil gay lifestyle. Hmmmm... She declined. So, I have decided that I can no longer accept Prince, the man who used to sing about blow jobs, sex with his sister and pen songs about tasty 'sugar walls'

I got rid of his new CD when I found out his new life view. However, I still seem to be unable to let go of his older/cool stuff.

Whatever.

I have decided that the artist currently known as Prince is just a short bigot. Just like Bette Midler, but please do not ask me to go there. I no longer discuss her.

I am so pleased that the PC is up --- even tho it may go down at any moment. It feels good to post.

the computer died

Yes, it is true. Our home computer seems to have died.

So, I do not currently have access to email or my fave blogs from home. It is quite busy at work, but I will try to do a post daily if at all possible. Only time will tell if our PC has a shot at a second life!

"Jessica, stop carrying your baby in that bag. Your mother told you to stop doing that!"

...just one of many priceless lines screeched in Paul Morrisey's film, HEAT. If you have never seen it, have a twisted sense of humor and an interest in the depraved Andy Warhol set of the late 60's to early 70's --- you simply must see it! Sylvia Miles is just awesome and Joe Dallesandro was so very pretty! Pat Ast is fantastic and scary all at once.

However, I feel that it is Andrea Feldman as "Jessica" who steals the whole movie. I love her line readings --- she gives what I now must count as one of my fave film performances! The line listed as the title of this posting is delivered by Joe to Ms. Feldman who casually walks into frame carrying an old beach bag from which she pulls out a baby ---- essentially tossing the poor infant into Joe's lap.

Is HEAT cinema so very bad it is good or cinema that is so very good it is just bad for us to watch? I care not! I loved every minute of it. Sadly, I just read on the Internet Movie Dbase that Andrea Feldman killed herself shortly after they filmed the movie. Sad. You know, she was also quite good in the role of the rich acid addict in the other infamous Morrisey film, TRASH.

On a much more merry note -- Dusty is doing quite well. The poor little thing wants to be held all of the time, but she has more energy and ate a meal today. We would like to get her to drink more water, but I suspect she is going to be even better by tomorrow. I know that this procedure is really normal, but there is something about it that just seems mean to me. In referene to Manhattan hottie, Jon, comment to my posting from yesterday --- I can't stand the concept of declawing a cat. However, I totally understand why a pet owner might have to do that. Somehow, it just seems wrong. However, I wouldn't much enjoy dealing with puppy tampons. No, I would not do well with that at all!

I am listening to the new Maki Nomiya CD, "Dress Code" --- I really like it. It gives off the musical vibe that it is 1968 and you are probably sitting in some smoke filled lounge at the airport in Japan listening to Maki and her band perform as you sip some silly drink out of a ridiculously huge glass. You are probably wearing a silk scarf which matches your way fab collar-less dinner jacket.

I had the hardest time figuring out how to order her new CD from the Japan Amazon.com and I am still not quite sure how much I paid. Oh well, it is worth it. Following the guidance of my favorite UK dude, Tim, I also purchased "Pizzicato Five '85" which is so cool. Their cover of Simon and Garfunkle's "The 59th Street Bridge Song" is really inspired.

I wonder -- does anyone know how old Ms. Nomiya is at this point? She must be in her early 40's at the very least. Maybe I am wrong. While a bit too thin, she still looks very glamorous and cool. But then, would one expect any less? ...I do not think so. Seems like I may have been a part of a blog conversation about this several months ago, but I am not sure.

Well, I am about to watch a Claude Chabrol film from 1988 staring my fave, Isabelle Huppert. I am sure it will be fantastic, but I doubt it will be as much fun as HEAT. Then, it will be off to bed. Karl has to work tomorrow and I will be staying home watching our Princess Perfect.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

The Trials and Tribulations of a Princess

Dusty, Princess Perfect, has a rough time of it yesterday. The procedure looked so gruesome. She had stitches and staples. In addition to being in pain she was also clearly pissed at her "care givers" ----- when she would decide to look at us, it was with daggers! We would touch her little head and give her a kiss and she would then raise her head as high as she could and turn away. However, by 10pm she seemed to have forgiven us and was even giving us her little kisses when we got on the floor and spoke to her. She woke us up at 3am shrieking and I think Karl brought her to the living room to see if he could get her to do any required business on her pad. I am not sure because I would back to sleep. Karl is with her today. It is so strange to see her not feeling well. Normally when I get up she is just a bundle of positive energy --- this morning she just watched me as I moved about the room. I have to say, tho --- I would be behaving much worse if someone had removed all of my sexual organs!

Oh, so Rick James died. You probably are all aware of this. Anyway, there is a local comic newspaper in Boston called "The Weekly Dig" which seems to poke fun at just about anything. Their current cover is totally without taste, but it just makes me laugh. There is a photo of Rick James in his 1981 prime with the following in quotation marks --- "I'm dead, bitch." Just makes me laugh. Didn't he write and produce a really lame song for Eddie Murphy in the 80's? VH1 Classics shows it from time to time. I am unable to think of the name of the song. At any rate, Rick James is totally dead, bitches!

That's Princess Perfect to you!

Yes, our little Princess, Dusty, has been fixed. Just as you shocked her training coaches, she seems to have had a similar effect on our vet's office. Karl was asked to pick her up at 3pm --- changing from the original "pick her up any time after 3pm" ...you see, Dusty would let out a cry whenever one of the nurses moved out of her view. Now, Dusty is quite capable of screaming in a way that sounds like someone is skinning a toddler without pain killers. At any rate, it turned out to be most distressing to the other animals and the their owners.

Do we think that we might have spoiled our little bitch a bit too much? Maybe --- but I have to say that I take a certain pride in the fact that Dusty knows she is a princess and deserves to be treated like one!

I feel so bad. She looks so sad and they put staples and stitches in her belly. Poor little thing. On top of that they placed some sort of LoJack think in her so that we can find her if she ever wanders away in search of cushier digs. ...We know it won't be to find a prince. Dusty, like her namesake, Ms. Springfield --- has no use for men!

Oh, and turns out someone found my Platinum Visa number and has been trying to purchase things on line. So, now I have to get Karl to help me contact the credit bureaus so that a "Fraud Alert" will be associated with my social security number. UGH. I was on the phone with the Visa Fraud Dept for well over an hour this morning. They were very diplomatic and "PC" but they basically told me that it is likely that this was an inside job at Visa. ...Made me feel really good.

...And, how was your day??

The Fine Art of Dieting and Working Out

...I am not familiar with it. The whole concept alludes me. However, I am quite familiar with the whole lie on the sofa, drink Pepsi and eat chocolate approach to life. I even manage to work into my busy schedule at least once a day! That means I am so committed that I am sofa-ing over 6 times a week. I try to get in at least 4 sets of lying about each day!

Oh, and I am not enjoying my job right now. The stress keeps on rolling!

...And, tomorrow Dusty is getting "fixed" ---- I drop her off for surgery tomorrow morning on my way to the office. Poor baby.

Oh, and what in the hell is the deal with the MTV Teen Awards? I mean, the star wins and they hand them a 12 foot award in the shape of a surfboard. That cute little Disney star could hardly hold the damn thing up!

The Two Coolest Women In The World?

I know that this is totally subjective, but I have decided that Debbie Harry and Isabelle Huppert are the two coolest women on the planet. No matter what they do --- be it TV commercials for Sara Lee circa 1988 or bad movies with Steve Guttenberg --- they remain cool at all times. Sara Lee was never as cool as when they got Debbie to pop one in the microwave and Guttenberg never had a better chance to convince us that he is straight as he did in his love scenes with Ms. Huppert! And, no matter how old they become --- they just seem to carry coolness at all times.

I am unable to think of two men who have remained cool thru the ages. I used to think Tom Petty and Richard Gere were totally cool, but they have let me down. As has Iggy Pop and David Bowie.

In the mean time, I am about to make a CD for my pal, Thomas.

As you can see I don't have much to blog about today. No glam porno shoots with Jeff or Donnie. No high end nude fashion shoots. No, all and all it was just a dull Monday.

The Return of Barbra!

So, "Open Water" was just a bit too much for me. Most upsetting.

However, I am gearing up for the return of Barbra to the big screen! Take a look at the trailer if you haven't already seen it at a cinema!

Link to Bab's Trailer!!

I am so there! Hey, Dustin Hoffman just turned 67! ...and Babs is 63. Odd to see all of these celebs I have watched all my life get old. And, I will be 38 on November 12th. Ugh.

My Mom Thinks I Am Naked On A Plate

Am not sure what to think, but I guess I should be flattered that she thought it was me on the plate. Holly is my aunt. I am thinking that just about everyone my mother knows thinks I have posed for Jack Pierson in the nude for a limited edition plate. I guess that is cool. Maybe it will be one of the hot topics of conversation at my cousin's upcoming wedding.

I wonder if now is the time to let her know about my secret career in porn. You all know --- the underground one I made with Donnie Russo back in 1994.

Here is the post she made regarding my art investment in case you didn't catch it in the comments section:

Don't know where you are going dear, but given how far you've come I have faith it will be good places. Now about that Plate, Is that really you on that plate? My advice is DON'T HANG IT IN THE LIVING ROOM! But, I have to say you were always cute naked when you were a baby--you were so happy to be without diaper confining you--so I am not too shocked to see that you are still cute naked. Ha Don't kow what Holly will think when she looks this over--She'll probably think you still look cute naked. Ha LV Mom

Miss Ross Said It Best

I don't know. This is not a good day for me --- and all that comes to mind to write are those words once sung by the once glamorous, Miss Ross.

"Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Do you get what you're hopin"' for?
When you look behind you there are no open doors.
What are you hopin'' for?
Do you know?

...Once we were standing still in time
chasing the fantasies that filled our minds...

...Now, looking back at all we've had --- we let so many dreams just slip from our hands.
Why must we wait so long before we see ---- how sad the answers to those questions can be?

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?"

Do I know?

Girly Man or An Eye for Fashion and Art?

I am going to share something with you that I have not shared with anyone. I am about to expose myself to all of my blogging pals!

As previously mentioned, I spent quite a bit of time shopping in PTown and I even purchased a new pair of shoes. HERE they are! I like them. I knew I had to buy them as soon as I saw them!

And, then the sales person explained that they were ladies shoes. I hesitated and she added, "but we are in PTown --- let's have you try them on!" So I did. They fit and I took 'em! So, there! I have told you all. Yes, I am wearing ladies shoes. ...maybe next year I will pick up a pair of heels.

Now, an even bigger confession of news that I have to break to Karl without his beating me up. I feel in love with a piece of art while in PTown. I tried not to purchase it, but finally surrendered. By the time I returned to the store --- they had sold it. I was so sad.

The cute sales clerk, sensitive to my artisic needs, suggested I visit a gallery down the street. I did and they were able to find the plate for me. It arrived today.

HERE it is. However, you see, Karl did not care for this particular photographer or this limited edition and signed plate. Now, we own it. It appeals to me and I think it will look great in the living room!

There --- I feel all clean and new --- like when I came out of the closet! No more secrets!

X-Large

Well, it is back to reality pour moi! We are back in Boston. The city survived the Democratic National Convention and I am all ready to return to work for tomorrow morning!!! I have actually missed work. How sad is that?!?!?

Although I provided updates almost daily while we were in PTown, check out Karl's blog as he provides a great summary and plenty of pictures. Some of the pictures are in his post, but you can see all in his photo album. However, be forewarned ---- I am currently an extra large and not very pretty.

I shall be turning to Beth to get me in shape!! Of course, I guess I will need to put a bit of work into it as well!

I missed Dusty so much. She and I have gone for a couple of walks today, but neither of us enjoy the heat. She is currently cooling on the hardwood floor and I am eating my lunch. ...a light and fat free Yoplait harvest peach yogurt.